Will Quote #1687
Quote from Will in I, Clownius
Philip: What do you hope to accomplish by strapping a bomb to your chest and blowing up a gas station?
Juggles: [chuckles] I'm on my way down to one of the networks and I'm gonna make them put me on TV. And then the whole world is gonna see my talent to entertain.
Will: Um... Wouldn't it be easier to just get a agent?
Juggles: I had an agent and then he had my wife. [nervous silence] That's a joke!
Philip: There's gotta be a better way.
Juggles: Yeah, well, I tried all the other ways, but it's always Bozo this or Coco that. Never any jobs for Juggles, oh, no. And I'll tell you another thing, I could've sold twice as many hamburgers as that Ronald guy. That no-act clown. No. No. Nobody wants to give Juggles a chance. Mm-mm. One little tent fire. One little elephant stampede. A couple of kids end up in the hospital and, all of a sudden, Juggles is poison. As if they even saw me smoking that cigar. It's harassment, I tell you!
Will: Well, you're probably in a hurry to get down to that network, you know. So don't let us stop you. Grab your little seltzer bottle, hop in your little miniature car. If you go right now, you could probably beat rush hour.
Juggles: No! No, no, no. Oh, no. Now that I got myself a big celebrity judge hostage I'm gonna make the network people come here. [chuckles] I'll be a bigger celebrity than I even thought.
The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Quotes
‘I, Clownius’ Quotes
Quote from Will
Will: Now, wait a minute, Uncle Phil. I don't usually say this, but I agree with the little squidget. Come on, you can't go down to that courthouse by yourself. You need a bodyguard. Hey, I'm your man.
Philip: I'll be fine, Will.
Will: Uh-huh. That's just what Bobo Anderson said.
Philip: Who?
Will: Bobo Anderson. One of my boys from back in Philly. Oh see, Bobo started getting all these threatening letters. Everybody was like: "Yo, Bobo, you need to watch your back. You know brothers be tripping." He's like, "No, man, I'm cool. I'm all right." Then, bam! One day he just up and disappeared.
Carlton: He was killed?
Will: Oh, no, his family moved out of town. I ain't seen him since third grade.
Philip: Will, what has all this got to do with your being my bodyguard?
Will: Oh. You know, I figure if you let me slide down to that courtroom with you, you know I might get to console some of them show-biz madam girls. You know, it won't be just your body I'm guarding, you know what I'm saying? You know what I'm talking about, dawg. You know what I'm saying, right? You know. You know what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying, right? You know. You know what I'm saying, boy? You know Damn, I miss Bobo.
Quote from Carlton
Detective Simms: Well, whenever there's a high-profile case like this every wacko comes out of the woodwork.
Carlton: I say we treat this as a code-one priority. We need to seal the perimeter. I want four cars on 24-hour surveillance sharpshooters on the roof, and a canine team. And remember, we're working with a nut here.
Detective Simms: And who are you?
Will: He's the nut we working with. [laughs]
Carlton: Carlton Banks. I'll be your point man on this little operation.
Detective Simms: Well, I'll tell you what, you let us do our job, and we'll let you do whatever it is you do.
Quote from Carlton
Geoffrey: This fax just came in.
Carlton: Oh, my God.
Will: What? What does it say?
Carlton: It says, "I'm gonna kill you, Banks."
Will: Yo. Hey, it's a death threat against Uncle Phil.
Vivian: What?
Hilary: What?
Carlton: Dad? Oh, thank God. I thought it was for me.