Geoffrey: Is your friend feeling lost?
Will: Ah! Lost. Yeah, yeah. See, he's feeling lost. You know, he's feeling like the world is just rushing by him, you know. Everybody's getting into all these new things and he's just stuck kicking it in the pool house. Well, I mean, you know, per se. You know, I mean, I guess he's feeling embarrassed you know, that he's the only one that ain't doing nothing.
Geoffrey: Well, then I suggest you tell your friend the story my father told me. It's the tale of the young Earl of Monroe who wanted to build a bridge over the River Mersey. He labored for years and years and finally he was all done and quite proud of himself.
Will: Okay. Okay. So I guess what you're saying is I should just tell my boy that if he applies himself, everything gonna be cool.
Geoffrey: Well, actually, when the earl completed the bridge, he flung himself off it.
Will: Dude killed himself?
Geoffrey: Quite. Now, if you'll excuse me, Master William, I have dinner to prepare.
Will: That's the advice that your father gave you?
Geoffrey: My father was not a well man.

Jazz: Happy birthday, Mr. Banks. Heard you had quite a soiree last night. That's French for "shindig."
Philip: What's French for "unwelcomed guest"?
Jazz: I bought this for you. They're false teeth. They were my grandmom's. She don't need them no more. I know that look. You're not getting any younger. This isn't good for your back. I brought this on myself.
[Uncle Phil throws Jazz out of the house]
Will: Aah! Man, Uncle Phil, you beat your own record by, like, 10 feet.

Hilary: Geoffrey, I know it's a little premature and I know I really didn't have to but being the generous person that I am, I got you a little going-away gift. And that's a real autograph. Go ahead, press the button. Press the button. [on recording] "Geoffrey, get in here, I need you." [speaks] Oh, don't you just love it?
Geoffrey: Love it.