Philip: You can jump in here any time, Vivian.
Geoffrey: Perhaps that iron fist that you rule with has gotten a bit rusty, sir.
Philip: Perhaps I should hit something.
Geoffrey: Be careful of misguided anger, sir.

Hilary: You are never going to believe what's happened.
Carlton: Oh, yeah. Billy Butterworth's gonna be on your show. Big deal.
Hilary: What are you talking about? William Shatner's on the show.
Carlton: Actor, director, novelist, bon vivant William Shatner? [to Will] And you knew? You slept in the same pool house with me knowing this, knowing what it would mean to me, and you didn't say a word? I don't even know who you are.

Dick: Bill, Bill, Bill, I'm Dick West. I'm with the network. I noticed you drove in today. Thought beaming down would be too flashy, huh?
William Shatner: Good one, Dick.
Dick: Thanks, guy. Hey, I'll catch you later, huh?
William Shatner: Oh, yeah. What is it about these suits that they feel they have to make some lame Star Trek joke when they start off? I don't unders-
Carlton: William Shatner! I saw your car out in the parking lot. I guess you thought beaming down would be too flashy, huh? Get it, huh?
William Shatner: That's a good one, Dick.
Will: Well, actually, his name is Carlton.
William Shatner: Who cares?
Carlton: Boy, the Twilight Zones. The Star Trek episodes. The movies. The TekWar books. T.J. Hooker. Huh. How about that Heather Locklear? Hubba, hubba.
Will: Listen, now, you don't have to shoot anything for the next three hours. Anything you wanna do?
William Shatner: Yeah, get away from this guy.