Carlton Quote #565

Quote from Carlton in Hare Today...

Carlton: Oh, look at the little lumpy bumpy bunny wunny. Ah, this little guy brings back memories. He reminds me of my rabbit, Snowball.
Will: What? You had a rabbit?
Carlton: Oh, yeah. I'll never forget how upset I was the day Snowball disappeared. But I was okay once Dad explained Snowball's mommy and daddy had to take her back to their hutch because they were so lonely without her.
Hilary: I remember. That was the Easter Grandma Hattie came over and made that secret stew. What was that?
Philip: I don't know. I don't remember.
Hilary: Of course, you do. It tasted like chicken but it wasn't.
Philip: Hilary.
Carlton: Oh, my God. I remember that stew. It was delicious. Geoffrey, you gotta make that stew.
Geoffrey: Don't tempt me.


‘Hare Today...’ Quotes

Quote from Nicky

Nicky: Daddy, you know how you told me that Harry's black now because rabbits change colors for Easter? Isn't there a little more to that story?
Philip: Well, yes. Uh Nicky, you remember in The Lion King when Mufasa...?
Nicky: Daddy, did you sit on Harry?
Philip: Yes. But- But-
Nicky: That's okay, Dad. Death is a natural part of life. But what a way to go.

Quote from Will

Will: Look, um, I saw what happened down at the church.
Vivian: Will, I don't know what to do. I don't know whether to tell Philip or not. If I tell him, he's gonna be furious. This whole thing doesn't make any sense.
Will: Makes sense to me. Look like the Rev's trying to get his hallelujah on.
Vivian: Honey, he's an old friend of the family's, and he's close with your uncle. My God, why did he have to do this?
Will: [screams as Uncle Phil walks in] Hey! Whoo-hoo! Uncle Phil, what's going on, man? Oh, man, what's going on, boy? Shoot. Hey. You know, I was asking you what's going on because there ain't nothing going on in here. There's nothing going... I wanted to know with you. Did you have something going on? Because we don't have any.
Philip: Oh Vivian, could you have Geoffrey put out an extra plate tonight? I've invited Reverend Sims for dinner.
Will: You can't. Uh... Ain't enough chicken. I mean, there's too much chicken. You know what they say about ministers. You know, they will eat and eat and eat until they die. Yeah. They're like goldfish.
Philip: You are a very odd young man.

Quote from Will

Philip: Oh, Will, something terrible has happened.
Will: I know.
Philip: I didn't mean to kill him.
Will: What? What? Uncle Phil, you killed him? Oh, my God. Does anybody know?
Philip: Well, Hilary may suspect. She came in right after it happened. I mean, it was an accident.
Will: Okay, good. Good. You said that like you really believed it.
Philip: It was an accident, Will.
Will: Hey, hey, man, I'm not the one you gotta convince.
Philip: Nicky is gonna be very upset.
Will: What? I think Nicky is the least of your worries. Okay. All right. All right. Uncle Phil, you go upstairs, pack a bag. I'm gonna get the car. We gonna shoot down to Tijuana. We gonna chill in Mexico, this whole thing blows over.
Philip: Will, they don't arrest you for sitting on a rabbit.

Carlton Quotes

Quote from Just Say Yo

Carlton: Where am I? Last thing I remember, I was doing the running man to I Will Always Love You.
Will: Carlton, you're at a hospital.
Carlton: Wow, I feel terrible. I never thought losing my virginity would be this painful.
Will: Carlton, I got some bad news.
Carlton: Oh, God, I malfunctioned.
Will: No. See, you never made it past the dance floor. Those pills that you took weren't vitamins.
Carlton: What were they?
Will: Look, you gotta promise you're not gonna overreact.
Carlton: What could be worse than finding out I'm still a virgin?
Will: It was speed.
Carlton: Oh, my God. I'm a drug addict and a virgin!

Quote from The Alma Matter

Carlton: It's not unusual To have dad be proud of me It's not unusual 'Cause I love conformity And when I see dad hangin' with Will instead of me It's not unusual to see me cry I wanna die
Tom Jones: It's not unusual to mess up at any time And when I see you so down and out It's such a crime
Carlton: Did you ever wanna be loved by anyone And then you let them down I blew it yesterday My trust fund's gone away
Tom Jones: My friend it happens all the time And life will never do
Carlton: What you want it to
Tom Jones: Don't give yourself Such a hard time

Quote from Boys in the Woods

Carlton: For a long time it gave me nightmares... having to witness an injustice like that. It was a constant reminder of how unfair this world can be. I can still hear them taunting him: "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids." How come they just couldn't give him some cereal?