Will: Never in the history of pugilistic pursuit has one so completely dominated. Muhammad, what do you have to say?
Nicky: I'm the greatest and I'm pretty. You know I made you, Howard.
Philip: What is going on here?
Will: Oh, you know, the family vowed to get in shape for the new year, so we gonna go to the gym. I'm gonna take Nicky and put him in a boxing class.
Philip: Oh, that's fine. Just make sure he learns that boxing is about athleticism and sportsmanship, not violence.
Nicky: [punching the inflatable] Now I'm gonna get medieval on you.
Will: We ain't really get to the sportsmanship part yet.

Will: Well, hey, Uncle Phil, why don't you come to the gym with us?
Philip: Oh, I'd love to, I really would, but I have so much work to do on the trial this morning.
Will: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Philip: Okay, okay, fine. I'm not going because I don't want to. And you can't make me.

Carlton: Geoffrey, what do you think? Honestly.
Geoffrey: I think it's the most ridiculous costume I've ever seen.
[Ashley comes downstairs in her hot dog uniform]
Geoffrey: I stand corrected.
Will: Hey, Ashley. All ready for your first day at work?
Ashley: What was I thinking telling Daddy I'd pay for half my car? I feel like a dork. And I have to wear this same stupid uniform day after day after day.
Geoffrey: Gee, wouldn't that suck?