Carlton Quote #478

Quote from Carlton in Stress Related

Carlton: I don't mean to brag, but you're looking at the next junior executive at the California International Bank.
Philip: Well, they hired you on the spot, huh, son?
Carlton: Well, they haven't actually hired me yet, but their body language was pretty clear.
Philip: Body language?
Carlton: Sure. They gave me the wink and the gun. You know. [clicks tongue] Well, when they give you the wink and the gun that means: "Hey, you're our man." [clicks tongue]

Rate

 ‘Stress Related’ Quotes

Quote from Geoffrey

Geoffrey: Soy meatloaf, madam?
Vivian: Yes, Geoffrey. I am through serving that fat-filled cholesterol-ridden mess.
Geoffrey: Say what you will, but he is a good provider.

Quote from Philip

Geoffrey: Your sandwich, sir.
Philip: Thank you, Geoffrey. What is this?
Geoffrey: Tofu and rice cakes. I tried to warn you. Mrs. Banks has run amok.
Philip: Geoffrey. Geoffrey. Now, if you'll go to my office and look in my desk...
Geoffrey: Gone, sir.
Philip: My pimento loaf?
Geoffrey: I'm afraid so, sir.
Philip: But I still have some bologna in the...
Geoffrey: She got that too, sir.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: And in conclusion, if you follow these steps as I have outlined then I guarantee you'll be successful. [applause] Thank you.
Student #1: You still haven't told us what you do.
Carlton: Well, I was previously in expeditious comestible management. And, um, currently, I'm overseeing a myriad of options.
Student #2: Do you even have a job?
Carlton: Well, strictly speaking, I-
Student #3: He's a bum just like my Uncle Eddie.
Student #4: Excuse me, sir. Are you really a bum?
Carlton: Back off, sister.
Student #1: You got an attitude problem.
Carlton: Damn right I've got attitude. Just wait till you grow up. You'll see how tough it is. There are sharks out there and you're all little guppies waiting to be devoured. Oh, sure, you can lie back in your protective little womb called high school and pretend the world is your oyster. But one day it's gonna turn on you like the rotting milk in your stinking little lunchboxes. Thank you.