Will Quote #1456

Quote from Will in Slum Like It... Not!

Ashley: Will, I don't think I've ever seen you bite your nails. Are you worried about something?
Will: I was not biting my nails, Ashley. [spitting]
Carlton: Well, Will, when I'm nervous I put a bag over my head and breathe very deeply.
Will: Does that help?
Carlton: Absolutely. By the time I regain consciousness I've forgotten everything I was worried about.
Ashley: Come on, Will. I know something's bothering you.
Will: Oh, okay, I'll admit it. You know, I am getting married in two months and that does give a brother a lot to think about, you know. Heh. That doesn't mean I'm worried about my future because I'm not. [bites the bottom of an unwrapped banana] That's how I eat them.

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 ‘Slum Like It... Not!’ Quotes

Quote from Will

Ashley: Daddy, why don't you hear Will out? He might say something you like.
Philip: Well, I guess you're right. My father always said there's no such thing as a bad idea.
Carlton: Yes. But your father never heard about fried-chicken-flavored aspirin. What did you call it again, Will?
Will: Rotisserie-gold-icillin.
Carlton: And let's not forget about his beepers that cough.
Will: Oh, now, wait a minute. That one could've worked. You just never thought it through enough, Uncle Phil. See, now check this out, you're sitting in a movie theater, your beeper go off. Instead of hearing beep, beep, beep, beep, you hear: [coughing and snorting] See? That's a lot less annoying, right?

Quote from Jazz

Carlton: Good Lord, who knows what kind of vermin are in here?
Jazz: How do?
Philip: I don't have time for you, Jazz. I have to meet with the head of the tenants association.
Jazz: Okay. But before I go, this'll make you laugh. Knock, knock.
Philip: Who's there?
Jazz: The head of the tenants association. That's me.
Will: But wait a minute. Jazz, you mean you're the person that's suing my uncle? Man, what were you thinking about?
Jazz: I'm just trying to protect your investment. After you put a couple of million dollars in this place, it'll be worth thousands.

Quote from Carlton

Will: Stop it, Carlton. Now, put it back in the fuse box, please. This is dangerous.
Carlton: Not if you know how to read. Look, it says touch here.
Will: Cool.
Carlton: But wait. There's more. "A town risk." What the heck does that mean? A town risk. [Will screams] Oh, at own risk. Sorry.