TV Quotes

Vivian: Geoffrey, we're gonna need some hors d'oeuvres tonight. What do we have in the house?
Geoffrey: Whatever he hasn't eaten.
Philip: Geoffrey, for once, could you please cut the sarcasm?
Geoffrey: Sarcasm? Whatever do you mean?

Philip: All right. All right, so I have an ugly side.
Geoffrey: And you could write "Goodyear" on it.

Will: Hey, you know what, you ain't got to do nothing, Uncle Phil. You know, it ain't like I'm still 5 years old, you know. It ain't like I'm going to be sitting up every night asking my mom: "When's Daddy coming home?" You know, who needs him? He wasn't there to teach me how to shoot my first basket, but I learned, didn't I? And I got pretty good at it too, didn't I, Uncle Phil?
Philip: Yeah, you did.
Will: Got through my first date without him, right? I learned how to drive. I learned how to shave. I learned how to fight without him. I had 14 great birthdays without him. He never even sent me a damn card. To hell with him! I didn't need him then and I don't need him now.
Philip: Will-
Will: No, you know what, Uncle Phil? I'm gonna get through college without him. I'm gonna get a great job without him. I'm going to marry me a beautiful honey, and I'm gonna have me a whole bunch of kids and I'm gonna be a better father than he ever was. And I sure as hell don't need him for that, because there ain't a damn thing he could ever teach me about how to love my kids. How come he don't want me, man?

Will: What am I supposed to do about my rep?
Chill: Yo, you got to stand up to Omar Boulware, man.
Word: Word.
Carlton: Who's Omar Boulware?
Chill: Some guy Will wouldn't fight.
Will: The dude that be spinning me over his head in the opening credits.