Will: Hey, look, we tried to break him out, man, but it wasn't happening.
Coach: We're toast.
Will: I cannot believe what I'm seeing. Boo-hoo, our mascot ain't here. You big bunch of babies. What about your fans? They got a lot riding on this game. Their hopes, their dreams. Their nose. Hey, listen, I'm gonna tell y'all one time, and one time only. Mascots do not win football games. Players do.
Coach: Ah.
Will: And coaches. Hey, you know what, you gentlemen got a choice. You can give up and crawl away like spineless, gutless losers or you can pull it together. Throw it down, pick it up, strap it on, kick it's butt and go out as champions!
All: Yeah!
Will: This is the biggest game you will ever play.
All: Yeah!
Will: Now, sure, some of you may make it to the pros but, let's be honest, for most of you this is the end of the line. No more big games, no more free rides. No more honeys acting like you all that. Let's be honest, we don't even know if half you all are gonna graduate. Then, what you gonna do? Coach?

Will: Hey, did your bookie take my bet?
Jazz: You down. Five C's on ULA.
Will: You are the man. Now, who else could have found out that the Mustangs' starting quarterback has come down with the flu?
Jazz: It pays to have friends at the urology lab.

Hilary: Daddy. Daddy, there's a man under my bed and I didn't tell him to hide there.
Philip: Sweetheart, he's from the security company. I'm thinking of upgrading our alarm system.
Ashley: Hilary, there was a robbery in our neighborhood. Someone cleaned out the entire east wing of the Spelling mansion.
Hilary: Ew. How are they going to fence all that crushed velvet?