Will Quote #907

Quote from Will in All Guts, No Glory

Professor Mansfield: Okay, here's another oldie but a goodie. If a tree falls in the forest and nobody's around to hear it does it make a sound?
Will: Yes, yeah, yes, it does. [off his look] No, no, it don't. Well, no, well, you know, yeah, it's a tree, it has to, yeah.
Yeah, it... Well... How big is the tree? I mean, is it anywhere near a subway or anything like that? And how close is this forest to the ghetto? Okay, all right, how about if it landed on, like, a gopher or something like that? Hey, does the noise that the gopher makes count? Or what if it falls on Uncle Phil and he hurt the tree?


 ‘All Guts, No Glory’ Quotes

Quote from Philip

Will: Uncle Phil, let me tell you, this dude is hilarious. I mean, he's fun, he's funny. He makes me think about stuff in a way that I never even looked at it before. And I dropped his class.
Philip: Let me guess. Western Philosophy, right?
Will: How does everybody know that?
Philip: Because every time you're faced with a challenge, you run for cover.
Will: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come on, now, that is not true, Uncle Phil. I mean, this whole college thing is just kind of new to me.
Philip: Oh, bull! It's old territory. I mean, you're always going on about how you want to be out on your own and get respect. But you don't do anything to earn it.
Will: Oh, look, I think it's my break time.
Philip: What the hell is wrong with you, anyway? I mean, you're smart, you're charming. You have gifts that other people would kill to have. And what do you do? You throw it away by taking the easy road.
Will: Uncle Phil, this is one class.
Philip: No, this is not one class, Will. This is your life. It's not my life, it's not Carlton's life and you only get out of it what you put into it. And you are off to one lousy start.
Will: But enough about me, Uncle Phil. Let's talk about you.
Philip: That's exactly what I'm talking about.

Quote from Hilary

Philip: Hilary. Sweetheart. How you feeling?
Hilary: I'm feeling much better, thanks. [sobs]
Philip: Now, now, baby, tell you what. Why don't you put on some clothes and hop in the car, and drive over to Neiman's and do a little shopping.
Hilary: Oh, thanks, Daddy, but I'm not ready to go out just yet.
Philip: Oh. And you don't have to. Here. I'll even look the number up for you.
Hilary: [dials] Hello, Neiman's? Listen, I want to order that adorable Donna Karan pantsuit in your catalog. Item DK35712. Yeah, and on page 14, there's this fabulous leather bag and... Oh, that would be cute.

Quote from Will

Philip: So how was registration today, guys?
Will: Oh, yo, it was slamming, Uncle Phil.
Philip: He met a girl, right?
Carlton: You got it, big guy. And he joined classes just because she's in it. He doesn't even know what he's taking.
Will: I do too.
Carlton: Name it.
Will: [reading] "Western Pornography."
Carlton: Western Philosophy.