Vivian: Oh, Philip, you all right? You look like you're in shock.
Philip: Shock? Oh, no, it figures.
Hilary: Oh, here's the best part. I asked Trevor to officially propose to me during his Slice of L.A. segment on tomorrow's news. That way, all of Los Angeles can share in our happiness. [Hilary empties a vase and throws the bouquet back, which Carlton catches]
Philip: Hilary, sweetheart I think there may be a question that you should ask yourself.
Hilary: I already did. I'm going to register at Tiffany's.
Philip: No, no, sweetheart. Are you in love with Trevor?
Hilary: What's love got to do with it? I'm having a wedding.

Philip: Excuse me. Is this what you've been telling my boy?
Will: What?
Philip: That life is one big orgy.
Will: [high-pitched] I never said-
Philip: College is hard work, son. Followed by a family, which is even more hard work. And a teenage daughter who doesn't wanna be seen with you in public. And a wife, a wife who won't let you anywhere near her. And a butler, a butler who may be the father of your child. And a gardener, a gardener-
Carlton: Dad! Dad!

Vivian: Will, honey, you and Carlton will look out for each other, won't you?
Will: Come on, absolutely, Aunt Viv. We got each other's back.
Vivian: Great, great, great. You two just be careful. There are a lot of sick, demented perverts out there.
Jazz: [enters] Greetings, all.
Vivian: Hello, Jazz.