The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air - Carlton Quote #250
Carlton: Where am I? Last thing I remember, I was doing the running man to I Will Always Love You.
Will: Carlton, you're at a hospital.
Carlton: Wow, I feel terrible. I never thought losing my virginity would be this painful.
Will: Carlton, I got some bad news.
Carlton: Oh, God, I malfunctioned.
Will: No. See, you never made it past the dance floor. Those pills that you took weren't vitamins.
Carlton: What were they?
Will: Look, you gotta promise you're not gonna overreact.
Carlton: What could be worse than finding out I'm still a virgin?
Will: It was speed.
Carlton: Oh, my God. I'm a drug addict and a virgin!
Quote from Carlton
Carlton: Will, pardon my tough love but this burning the candle at both ends is dumb, dumb, dumb.
Will: I know, Carlton. I just wish there was something else I could do. It's like there ain't enough hours in the day. Carlton, did you ever think about taking, you know, drugs?
Carlton: Will, you don't have to beat around the bush. I know exactly what you're getting at.
Will: You do?
Carlton: You see the volcano-sized pimple about to erupt on my forehead and you don't think vitamin E is strong enough.
Will: No, man. I mean, well, yeah, but... I mean, the kind of drugs that help you stay up.
Carlton: Up? You don't mean... [Will nods] Oh, this sex thing is even more complicated than I thought.
Will: You know what? Never mind, man.
Quote from Will
Philip: Will has something to tell you.
Will: Come on, Uncle Phil, don't make me-
Philip: Go ahead, Will.
Will: Um... The pills that Carlton took, they were from my locker.
Will: I'm sorry, Aunt Viv. I mean, I had basketball practice, and I had finals, and everything... And one of the guys at school just offered me some stuff to help me stay awake. And then Carlton... Look, all I know is that somebody real close to me that I love a whole lot could be dead right now and it would be all my fault. I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry.
Philip: Come here. Come here.
Will: I'm sorry I did it.
Philip: It's okay.
Quote from Will
John: You know, we're counting on you for the big game this weekend.
Will: Hey, man, don't you even worry about me. I'm gonna be there. "Smith dribbles. He stops. He pops. He scores. The crowd goes wild!" [yawns] Man, I'm beat.
John: You could do what I do.
Will: No, that's all right. I don't think listening to Bruce Springsteen got the same effect on Black people.
Quote from The Alma Matter
Carlton: It's not unusual To have dad be proud of me It's not unusual 'Cause I love conformity And when I see dad hangin' with Will instead of me It's not unusual to see me cry I wanna die
Tom Jones: It's not unusual to mess up at any time And when I see you so down and out It's such a crime
Carlton: Did you ever wanna be loved by anyone And then you let them down I blew it yesterday My trust fund's gone away
Tom Jones: My friend it happens all the time And life will never do
Carlton: What you want it to
Tom Jones: Don't give yourself Such a hard time
Quote from The Alma Matter
Carlton: What happened, and where's Mom?
Tom Jones: Well, without you, your family was defenseless against Will. You see, they started to focus on happiness instead of success. Your mother ran away with the milkman, your father quit his practice to paint, Ashley does nothing but dance all day, and Hilary just does her hair. Well, maybe not everything changed.
Carlton: But they're not making any money. I mean, so what if they're happy? I mean, how are they going to afford this house our cars, our club memberships?
Tom Jones: Well, they can't. They're gonna lose it all. Happiness has ruined them.
Carlton: I've gotta save them. I've got to teach them about greed and social climbing, and how to claim your dog as a dependent.
Tom Jones: Now that's the Carlton I know. Maestro. [sings] It's not unusual To feel bad at any time It's not unusual To feel sad at any time
Carlton: But if I ever am in a jam at any time
Tom Jones: It's not unusual To find that I am there for you Whoa whoa oh whoa oh Oh Whoa oh Whoa whoa whoa whoa Whoa Oh Oh Alright Oh yeah
Quote from Blood Is Thicker Than Mud
Carlton: How dare you not take Will. He's full of potential.
Top Dog: That's why we want him. It's you we don't want.
Carlton: Me? [music stops] But I did everything. I cooked, I cleaned, I hand-washed your toilets.
Top Dog: Everything your butler does for you. I'm not accepting no prep school, Bel-Air bred sellout into my fraternity.
Will: Homey, you can stop all that-
Carlton: No, wait, Will. I got this one. You think I'm a sellout, why? Because I live in a big house or I dress a certain way? Or maybe it's because I like Barry Manilow.
Will: He mean Barry White, y'all.
Carlton: Being black isn't what I'm trying to be, it's what I am. I'm running the same race and jumping the same hurdles you are, so why are you tripping me up? You said we need to stick together but you don't even know what that means. If you ask me, you're the real sellout.
Will: Yeah, that's right, boy. And in the words of my illustrious cousin: "We will make like a tree and leave."