Vivian: This is my nephew, Will. Uh, and this is his hair.
Norma: It's a pleasure to meet you both.
Whitey: Call me Whitey.
Will: Oh, no, no, no. I'm gonna call you that then you gonna call me the other thing, and we're gonna be here fighting.
Philip: Will, Whitey is the president of a very prestigious savings and loan.
Will: Oh, really? Guess a lot of your buddies wearing suits like this now, huh?

Philip: Vivian, tell me that's not a beeper.
Ashley: Can I have one, Daddy?
Philip: When Jesse Jackson gets a job. Will, there'll be no beepers worn in this house.
Will: Yo, what's up, Uncle Phil? My mom let me wear it in Philly.
Philip: That's because she's your mother and she loves you. I'm your uncle. I just try not to hurt you.

Vivian: Philip, when Will gets here, please be nice. Otherwise, you're going to be bunking with Mr. Couch.
Philip: Woman, please do you think that you can manipulate me with sex? [laughs]
Vivian: Does James Brown have a perm?