Philip: Ashley, sweetheart. Now, before Kevin comes over I think I should have a little talk with you about boys.
Ashley: Great, Daddy.
Philip: They're all dogs, got it? Have a good time, sweetheart.

Philip: Will!
Will: Hey, check it out. Black folks playing tennis. I wonder if there's a White guy somewhere tap-dancing.

Philip: I can still remember the night Ashley was born. She looked like a beautiful, little, black Winston Churchill.
Vivian: Seems like yesterday.
Philip: Our baby's not a baby anymore, is she?
Vivian: You know, I knew it was time to have a talk with her. And I tried to the other night, but I just couldn't face the fact that she was having sexual feelings.
Philip: [groans] Oh, Vivian. Vivian, how could this happen to us? We live in a good neighborhood, they go to good schools. She's never even had a cavity, for God's sake. Oh, Vivian, times have changed since you and I were young. Hell, they've changed since Hilary and Carlton were young. Well, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. You pack your bags, we are moving to Greenland.