Philip: Mama wasn't playing cards with Mrs. Sweeting last night. She was out with Ed, the handyman. I saw them kissing good night.
Vivian: Um, sweetheart, I understand why you're upset but your parents had a long, wonderful marriage. But your mother's been alone for almost a year now. Can you imagine how lonely she must be? If she's found someone, can't you just be happy for her?
Philip: No.
Vivian: Philip, think about it. If you die tomorrow, what would you want me to do?
Philip: Jump in with me and bring the kids.
Vivian: Oh, you don't mean that.
Philip: You're right. Leave the kids.

Will: Is this the saddest sight that you've seen, man? Other than your girlfriend in biker shorts?
Ashley: We are doing just fine, thank you.
Hilary: As a matter of fact, as soon as we put it together, we'll be done.

Vivian: So, Ed, Hattie tells us that you grew up on a farm.
Ed: That's right, a horse farm.
Philip: My daddy had a horse.
Carlton: Mr. Downer, what breed did you raise?
Ed: Appaloosas. They have the most beautiful spotted coats.
Philip: My dad had a spotted coat, then he had it cleaned.
Ashley: Did you have any other animals on your farm?
Ed: Of course, we had chickens, cows, and a great old dog named Brownie.
Philip: My dad loved brownies. He once ate a whole pan-full.
Will: That explains a lot.