Carlton: My life is over. I'll be expelled. They'll send me away. I'll have to get a Jheri curl and a tattoo. I'll be subjected to over-crowding, bad food and daily threats of personal violence.
Will: Carlton, I don't think they'll send you to prison for cheating on a test.
Carlton: I'm not talking about prison. I'm talking about public school.

Philip: In light of your exemplary service over this past year, I'd like to offer you an additional $20 a week.
Geoffrey: I'm sorry? I thought you said $20 per week.
Philip: I did.
Geoffrey: Very well. Dinner at 7:00 as usual, sir? [Vivian pinches Phil's arm]
Philip: Ow. Of course that's not all, Geoffrey.
Geoffrey: Of course not, sir. I really didn't think so.
Philip: Why don't you treat yourself to a new uniform, on me.
Geoffrey: Thank you, sir, you're most kind. And with my newfound wealth... I can treat myself to a Happy Meal.

Hilary: Carlton, will you quit?
Carlton: Quit: from the Latin, quietare, to be at rest or satisfied.
Hilary: He's been doing this all morning. It's really irritating.
Carlton: Irritate: from the Latin, irritare, to excite or stimulate.
Vivian: Okay, Carlton, that's enough.
Philip: Vivian, his PSATs are this morning. He's just trying to be prepared.
Carlton: Prepare: from the Latin, praeparare, to make ready.
Philip: Carlton, shut up.
Hilary: Shut up: from the big guy, your father.