Hilary Quote #101

Quote from Hilary in The Mother of All Battles

Hilary: I don't believe it. I have never witnessed anything more humiliating in my life. Jilted at the altar. Other than crow's feet, that is the worst thing that can happen to a woman.
Vivian: Francesca was jilted?
Hilary: No, I was talking about me. All that hard work redesigning this dress, and that ingrate eloped. And to think I was gracious enough to let her invite her hayseed grandmother.

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 ‘The Mother of All Battles’ Quotes

Quote from Will

Will: All right, look. Step one: You gotta learn how to take somebody's heart, right? In the old days, they used to call it selling woof tickets.
Ashley: She won't buy anything from me, Will.
Will: No, no, no. See, a woof ticket is like a threat. See, right? It's all in your attitude. It's like: Say, man! Hey! You don't get out of my face, man, I'm gonna hit you so hard your grandpa's gonna get a lump.
Ashley: I will hit you so hard, it will bruise your great-grandfather badly.
Will: That would be great if you were rumbling Princess Di.
Will: But, no try it like this: Say, man! I'm gonna hit you so hard you're gonna land in another zip code!
Ashley: I'm going to hit you so hard you're going to land in another zip code! [smiles]
Will: Moving on.
Will: Look, the next step is full-scale psychological warfare, right? So you gotta act like you got this tick, right? Like the army did this experiment on you, right, that just went terribly wrong. Like: Back up! Back up! [turns around] Mind your business, that's all. Mind your business.
Ashley: Okay. Back up! Back up! [turns around] Mind your business, that's all. Just mind your business.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: Now what's really going on?
Ashley: Paula Hoover's been beating me up so Will's gonna show me how to fight her after school tomorrow.
Carlton: You should be ashamed of yourself, Will. Violence only begets violence. Now that is not the way you deal with a bully. Now I have found that as long as you pay them promptly, they pretty much leave you alone.
Ashley: I have been, and she still wants to beat me up.
Will: Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why she has to defend herself. Put your hands up-
Carlton: Not so. You and Paula must find a common ground. Remember, "We must never negotiate out of fear but we must never fear to negotiate." John F. Kennedy.
Will: But never forget, Mama Said Knock You Out. LL Cool J.

 Hilary Banks Quotes

Quote from Where There's a Will, There's a Way (Part 2)

Vivian: Look, there he goes.
Trevor: [on TV] Hilary Banks...
Hilary: Yes, Trevor?
Trevor: [on TV] Will you marry me? [thud]
[As the TV picture turns to static, the family are stunned into silence]
Will: I ain't no bungee expert or nothing... But I don't think he's supposed to be slamming into the ground like that.
[A title card appears on the TV]
Hilary: "Please stand by"? Great. The president's about to interrupt my marriage proposal.

Quote from Lucky Charm

Hilary: Well, here goes. Don't you all feel like a part of history? [opens paycheck] What? Federal taxes? This is an outrage. Didn't President Bush say, "No new taxes"?
Geoffrey: But federal taxes aren't new.
Hilary: Well, they are to me. And who is this FICA guy?
Vivian: Hilary, baby, taxes are taken out of everybody's salary. They pay for highways, national defense, and housing programs.
Hilary: I thought the government was supposed to pay for all that.