Jazz: Man, I'm starving. When do we eat here?
Philip: We eat here later. You eat here never.
Jazz: Looks like you eat here often.
[Uncle Phil throws Jazz out of the house]

Will: Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Raphael de la Ghetto.
[Geoffrey walks down the stairs wearing a dashiki, a giant afro and a pair of glasses with the sun-lenses popped out]
Geoffrey: "Listen To the street beat Hear the sound pound Plug your ears Mask your fears Something weird's going down So listen to the street beat Listen to the box shock Listen, or I'll kill you" [applause]
Ned: That was heavy, man. Let's have another one. Encore. [all] Encore.
Geoffrey: "Cannon to the right of them Cannon to the left of them Cannon in front of them Volleyed and thundered"
Toni: Hilary, isn't that your butler?
Hilary: Yeah. Wow, it's a good look for him.
Geoffrey: "Came through the jaws of Death" [chatter] Silence, you ungrateful children. When you're ready to be quiet and listen, I shall return.

Carlton: I hear someone in this room likes poetry. Try this one on for size. "Roses are red Violets are blue Pansies are poets Will, tell me it isn't true"
Will: That's funny. I got a poem for you, Carl. Try this one on for size. "Roses are red Violets are blue Jazz and I are Black, But Carlton, what are you?"