Will Quote #77

Quote from Will in Mistaken Identity

Carlton: Hey, they were just doing their job.
Will: Good night, Carlton.
Carlton: What's your complaint here? We were detained for a few hours, Dad cleared things up, and we were released. The system works.
Will: I hope you like that system 'cause you will be seeing a lot of it in your lifetime.
Carlton: Not if I bring a map.
Will: You just don't get it, do you? No map is going to save you, and neither is your glee club or your fancy Bel-Air address or who your daddy is. Because when you're driving in a nice car in a strange neighborhood, none of that matters. They only see one thing. [exits]
Carlton: Well, maybe growing up where you did has made you a little touchy, but I think you've blown this thing out of proportion. If you look at the facts...

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 ‘Mistaken Identity’ Quotes

Quote from Philip

Sergeant: Sit down!
Philip: Hey! You don't talk to my wife like that.
Sergeant: Now, wait a minute, buddy. Who the hell do you think you're talking-
Philip: Who the hell do you think you're talking to?
Henry: What's going on?
Sergeant: May I help you, sir?
Henry: I'm Henry Furth.
Sergeant: Good news. Your car is safe and sound. And we've got the perpetrators.
Henry: Those aren't the perpetrators. Those are my partner's son and nephew.
Sergeant: Partner?
Philip: Legal partner. I've got a few questions for you. When you got this alleged confession from them did they have a lawyer present? No. Because I'm their lawyer. Did you notify their parents? No. Because we're their parents. So, Officer, don't tell us to wait. And don't tell us to sit down. Just open that damn cell and let those two boys out or I'll tie this place up with so much litigation that your grandchildren are gonna need lawyers!

Quote from Vivian

Vivian: Let those kids out.
Sergeant: These kids are car thieves.
Vivian: Then you have made a big mistake. Now, I don't know how you got that bogus confession out of them but those two boys haven't stolen a thing from anyone. This has got to the biggest amateur operation I have seen since Mayberry R.F.D.
Police Officer: Could you ask your wife to calm down?
Vivian: Calm yourself, Barney Fife.
Philip: Vivian, please. Now, officers, I'm sure we can clear this whole matter up quite easily.
Sergeant: Could you please sit down? We're busy now.
Vivian: Oh, honey, we're about to get very busy.

Quote from Will

Will: "Those cops were just trying to do their jobs"?
Carlton: Will, don't get all bent out of shape.
Will: Man, you ain't learned nothing this weekend, did you?
Carlton: I most certainly did. Always bring a map.
Will: What?
Carlton: If we would have had a map we wouldn't have to drive 2 miles an hour to find a freeway entrance and we wouldn't have been stopped.
Will: Oh, okay, okay. I get it now. We were stopped because we were driving too slow. We were breaking the slowness limit. Oh, okay. Well, you see, I've never heard of that law before. But I did hear this other law. It's the "if you see a Black guy driving anything but a burned-out Pinto, you better stop him because he stole it" law. Yeah, I heard about that one. But see, I thought it was "the Black guy law" when in actuality, it was the "slowness limit law." Oh, thank you for sharing that with me, Carlton. Good night.