Hilary: Congratulate me. It took all day but I finally found the perfect pair of alligator pumps to wear to the Save the Everglades rally tonight.

Will: Now, remember, I'm wanted in five states, I'm hiding out from the police for robbing a gun store... And what did I do before then?
Carlton: You went to Penn State.
Will: I went to the state pen.
Carlton: Sorry. I thought Penn State was bad enough.

Geoffrey: Allow me, sir.
Philip: Certainly, Geoffrey, if you think you can do any better.
Geoffrey: Mademoiselle. [kneels down] My life was but a mere whisper until you entered into it. Whether it was chance or blind fate or kismet, if you will, that brought us together, I would be remiss to let this moment pass without telling you how deeply you have affected the very core of my being.
Will: Ooh, baby!