Carlton Quote #476

Quote from Carlton in Get a Job

Carlton: Well, you're mad at me for stealing your job?
Will: You're doggone, right. You shouldn't have done that. You knew how much I wanted this job.
Carlton: And you demonstrated that by ditching your responsibility, Jasmine. Who may not be a looker, but is quite an entertaining gal.
Will: Look, fine. Be that as it may, it does not change what you did and what you always do to me. Man, you are just so selfish. You got everything, but still on top of that you gotta take everything that everybody else has. Always about you. Carlton. Carlton. Carlton.
Carlton: Oh, yeah, well, you know what your problem is?
Will: No, I don't.
Carlton: You're a slacker. You say you want things but you're never willing to work for it. You never make the sacrifice. You think you're just gonna charm your way through. Just like your father.
Will: Let me tell you something. I am nothing like my father, all right?

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Carlton Quotes

Quote from Just Say Yo

Carlton: Where am I? Last thing I remember, I was doing the running man to I Will Always Love You.
Will: Carlton, you're at a hospital.
Carlton: Wow, I feel terrible. I never thought losing my virginity would be this painful.
Will: Carlton, I got some bad news.
Carlton: Oh, God, I malfunctioned.
Will: No. See, you never made it past the dance floor. Those pills that you took weren't vitamins.
Carlton: What were they?
Will: Look, you gotta promise you're not gonna overreact.
Carlton: What could be worse than finding out I'm still a virgin?
Will: It was speed.
Carlton: Oh, my God. I'm a drug addict and a virgin!

Quote from The Alma Matter

Carlton: It's not unusual To have dad be proud of me It's not unusual 'Cause I love conformity And when I see dad hangin' with Will instead of me It's not unusual to see me cry I wanna die
Tom Jones: It's not unusual to mess up at any time And when I see you so down and out It's such a crime
Carlton: Did you ever wanna be loved by anyone And then you let them down I blew it yesterday My trust fund's gone away
Tom Jones: My friend it happens all the time And life will never do
Carlton: What you want it to
Tom Jones: Don't give yourself Such a hard time

Quote from The Alma Matter

Carlton: What happened, and where's Mom?
Tom Jones: Well, without you, your family was defenseless against Will. You see, they started to focus on happiness instead of success. Your mother ran away with the milkman, your father quit his practice to paint, Ashley does nothing but dance all day, and Hilary just does her hair. Well, maybe not everything changed.
Carlton: But they're not making any money. I mean, so what if they're happy? I mean, how are they going to afford this house our cars, our club memberships?
Tom Jones: Well, they can't. They're gonna lose it all. Happiness has ruined them.
Carlton: I've gotta save them. I've got to teach them about greed and social climbing, and how to claim your dog as a dependent.
Tom Jones: Now that's the Carlton I know. Maestro. [sings] It's not unusual To feel bad at any time It's not unusual To feel sad at any time
Carlton: But if I ever am in a jam at any time
Tom Jones: It's not unusual To find that I am there for you Whoa whoa oh whoa oh Oh Whoa oh Whoa whoa whoa whoa Whoa Oh Oh Alright Oh yeah

‘Get a Job’ Quotes

Quote from Geoffrey

Philip: You know, it's true what they say, TV really does add 10 pounds.
Geoffrey: Hmm. What would account for the other 250?
Philip: You know, you're not a man who enjoys employment, are you, Geoffrey?

Quote from Carlton

Will: Aah! So did you do it? Well, I hope you're happy now. You know, you got what you wanted. I'm out. You're in.
Carlton: Is that about it?
Will: No, sir. I have only begun. See, you know what kills me? I was laughing while I was walking home because it's funny. You know, how we can live together all these years, almost like brothers and you could still low-bridge me the way you did.
Carlton: Are you about done?
Will: Oh, no, sir. Furthermore, you little...
Carlton: Snake? Weasel?
Will: Oh, yes.
Carlton: Nerd?
Will: Oh, yes.
Carlton: How about square-headed short stack?
Will: This is not the way this is supposed to be going.

Quote from Will

Carlton: And action.
Will: Hi. As the king of poultry, I know what good chicken should taste like, and if you... Hold up, Carlton. Wait a minute. A chicken eating chicken? That's just sick.