Will Quote #1268

Quote from Will in Will's Misery

Will: Autumn, my favorite time of the year. The leaves are falling and the hotties are pledging. Here I go, girl. Baby, if I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? Get it? That's a double entendre. Savez-vous? Savez-vous?
Lisa: [speaks French]
Will: Oh, Grey Poupon to you too, girl. Hey, listen, what do you say we go have some dinner tonight? You know, escargots and all that.
Lisa: I don't think that will be a good idea. I'm pledging Kappa and we sisters have to stick together.
Carlton: That's right. Your lines won't work with us, mister.
Will: Lines? What are y'all talking about? These aren't lines. You know what? A woman cannot take it when a man is honest. Look, when I take a woman out, I'm 100 percent gentleman. Look, I'm... [Carlton and the sorority all parrot Will's line] opening car doors, paying for dinners.
All: And I treat a woman like a king treats a queen.
Will: Y'all remembered those, huh?


 ‘Will's Misery’ Quotes

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
[Carlton runs out the kitchen door and around the side of the house]
Carlton: Oh, God. Oh, Lisa!
Will: [to himself] Gotcha. [laughs]
[Carlton runs in through the living room doors and back into the kitchen]
Carlton: No! No! Tell me you didn't. Oh, God. [Carlton drops to the floor and crawls back out the door]
Carlton: No, no, no.
[Carlton runs into the cabin]
Carlton: Will, no. Oh, my God, no! Oh, no.
[Carlton climbs the steps of the audience]
Carlton: How could you do that? Oh, no. Oh, my Oh, God. Oh, God. No.
[Carlton emerges from the elevator in The Peacock Stop]
Carlton: No. Oh, God, how could he do that? How could he do that?
[Carlton runs off set and hugs Will]
Carlton: Oh, my God! Oh, my God.

Quote from Will

Lisa: Oh, Will, don't let that spoil anything, because this has been the greatest night.
Will: Well, if you like this one, wait till you see the sequel.
Lisa: You are a dog. [Will barks] The only problem is I really wanna be a Kappa and if they see me with you, they won't let me in.
Will: Don't even worry about that, I'll wear a disguise. I'll go Michael Jackson style.
Lisa: You don't need to go that far. I'm house-sitting a friend's cabin this weekend and I wouldn't mind a little company.
Will: Little company? I'm more like the Fortune 500, you know? AT&T. Reach out and touch a brother if you got your bill paid.

Quote from Philip

Philip: It's confidence, son. Women love a confident man. Take me for instance. Why, back in the day, [chuckles] I'd slip on the old dashiki, puff up the old fro, find a foxy mama, say, "Hey, baby, let's get it on." [chuckles]
Carlton: And they bought that?
Philip: Actually, your mother was the only one.