Jazz: Man, I remember my first time. It was everything a young man could dream of. And it only cost me 35 bucks. But, of course, things were cheaper then.
Will: That's very touching, Jazz.

Philip: Okay, Geoffrey, let's have it.
Geoffrey: I'm too ashamed to talk about it. It's better if I show you. [goes to the VCR]
Will: You did a porno movie?
Hilary: Ew.
Narrator: [on TV] Montreal, site of the 1976 Olympics where some athletes become heroes to their countries and where one man became the shame of a nation. Geoffrey Butler, a long-distance runner representing Great Britain was descended from a long line of running Butlers. The hopes of a nation were on this promising runner's shoulders. Alas, his best was simply not good enough. Halfway through the race, young Geoffrey Butler hit the wall. But unfortunately, he would not accept his defeat. In this amazing footage shot by Japanese tourist, Hashi Takashi, Geoffrey Butler's unthinkable actions were captured.
Hashi Takashi: [on TV] [speaks Japanese] "He jumped in a cab. It took him to the Olympic Stadium parking lot. He entered the stadium ahead of all the other runners."
Narrator: [on TV] Geoffrey Butler's false victory was short-lived. The Takashi footage was released almost immediately and the public was outraged. Geoffrey Butler dropped from sight, never to be seen again. To his countrymen, he is the shame of a nation.
Geoffrey: That's the shameful secret I have kept inside for 17 years. [all laugh]
Will: Hey, hey. Hey, G, man. Hey, we ain't laughing at you, man. I guess we kind of are. Hey, G, why don't you run into the kitchen and get me something. Or better yet, take a cab.
Geoffrey: Sensitive lot, aren't you?

Carlton: [sings] What's new pussycat? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa What's new pussycat? Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
Will: I was up all night worried sick about you. Where have you been? And how come you didn't call me? Oh, my God, that's my mom's finger. Get it off my hand.
Carlton: Pinch me, Will. I'm in love. I finally found the woman of my dreams. And I did it. The big it.
Will: You mean you and Joann... um, closed the deal?
Ashley: What are you guys talking about?
Will: Business, Ash. Here, have some breakfast. So who put the offer on the table?
Carlton: Uh, she did. And the terms were so attractive, I jumped on h- It. I jumped on it. And don't worry I protected my investment.
Will: Come on, come on. Tell me everything, tell me everything.
Hilary: What was that all about?
Ashley: Carlton lost his virginity.