Carlton: You know, Will, that really makes you think. What's activator?
Will: Come on, man, you saw that story. I mean, that ain't fair!
Carlton: Life isn't fair, Will. I mean, was it fair when Bambi's mother died? Or is it fair that the coyote still can't catch the roadrunner? Or how about Roger Rabbit? How did he get a babe like that?
Will: You know, Carlton, you're right. Life isn't fair. Because if it was, then your legs wouldn't be shorter than your arms.

Hilary: Here in Southern California, we're experiencing a warm front with increasing humidity. That's right, girls, it's a frizzy-hair day. Looking at the nation, oh... Looking at the nation, there's a cold front blowing in from the Atlantic with a high probability of rain in the Midwest. The South, however, will enjoy pleasant and sunny weather. So, if you're planning on going to the beaches, remember you can help keep America beautiful with two simple words... Jenny Craig. Now, let's go look at our big board for the local weather for the week.

Will: Hey, check this out, Aunt Viv.
Philip: What are you doing?
Will: I learned in biology class that, you know, babies can respond to music while they still in the womb. You know, like when you was carrying Carlton you kept listening to It's a Small World After All?
Vivian: Oh, the baby's kicking. Who's that singing?
Will: Just a little Heavy D for Heavy V.
Philip: Will, it's bad enough you have an influence on Ashley. Hands off the fetus.
Will: All right, look, well, come on, can we at least make the kid be righteous? You know, like let him have an African name like Brother Outaphilia. Oh, hey, check it out, I got him a gift. Little itty-bitty X cap. Little teeny-weeny Doc Martens. Too cool for pre-school, right?