Vivian: Philip, I stood behind you. I supported you. I rooted for you every step of the way. But the long nights and the dinners alone and the postponed vacations were not supposed to last forever.
Philip: And they won't. Just because I'm running for political office doesn't mean I'm gonna win.
Vivian: Philip, you win at everything.
Philip: [laughs] Touche, you got me there.
Vivian: Philip, you always said that spending time with me and the family was the most important thing to you.
Philip: It is. Why can't we have it all?
Vivian: Can we? Can you honestly sit there and tell me I can have my husband back, the kids can have their father back and you can serve in office all at the same time? Can you say that to me?
Philip: I want to... but I can't. Look, Vivian, I didn't lie. I want the same things that you want and maybe I did overlook a few things before I decided to run for office. I love you. What am I gonna do with all those campaign buttons?

Philip: Son, I think it's about time we had a little talk.
Carlton: Oh, I think we should.
Will: You're darn skippy, we should. You're darn skippy y'all should.
Philip: Carlton, you're right. It's always been my dream for you to go to Princeton. But it's been yours also. I never pushed you.
Carlton: I know. I just freaked out. When I got accepted and you brought down that box of achievements I just realized that I could never measure up to you. I got scared.
Philip: Son, this is not a competition. And it's perfectly natural for you to feel the pressure and get mixed up and start bowling. But bowling never solves anything, it just makes things worse.

Ashley: Hi, Daddy.
Philip: Don't you "hi, Daddy" me. Just when were you planning on telling me about your little soft-core drink commercial?
Ashley: [to Will] You.
Philip: We would've found out eventually.
Will: Yeah, even though they're not showing that much of her face.
Ashley: I don't believe this. You're both being hypocrites. You sit there glued to the set anytime Baywatch comes on.
Philip: [stammers] Well, that's only because I have trouble sleeping and the sound of the waves gently caressing the shore helps relax me.

Philip: [both laughing] Oh, man. That pro shot on 18 was something else.
Will: Hold up, I don't care what you say, I ain't never seen a shot like you hit on 16.
Carlton: Sounds like you guys won.
Philip: Hell, no, how could we? He's an even worse golfer than you.
Carlton: So why are you so happy?
Philip: Oh, we had a great time.
Carlton: You had a great time losing?
Philip: Yeah.
Will: Oh, I gotta tell you. We ain't spent quality time like that together in years.
Philip: Well, wait till tomorrow when we really get our butts kicked.
Will: Say, how about we throw a couple steaks on the grill and discuss our losing strategy for tomorrow?
Philip: That's a great idea. I'll go start the barbie.

Philip: Will? Now, we're doing great.
Will: Right.
Philip: We're down four strokes with nine holes to go. I know it's not about winning or losing-
Will: No, no.
Philip: ...but if you help me beat them, you'll never have to work another day in your life.
Will: Really?
Philip: Well, no, but I'll buy you dinner.

Philip: But 50's gonna be a great year. Not only for me, but for all of us. I got a son heading off to Princeton. Two daughters starting exciting lives in New York. Another son starting kindergarten. And a nephew that's, uh... That's, uh... Hey, buddy, you're gonna love kindergarten.

Vivian: Why don't you want to see Jazz?
Will: It's his sister I don't want to see. Jazz is trying to set me up.
Philip: Jazz has a sister? Nice to meet you, Dad.
[Phil looks off to the side and imagines Jazz with long hair in a woman's outfit, just as Will did]
Jazz: [imaginary] Nice to meet you, Dad.
Philip: [shudders]

Vivian: Don't you feel great? Brisk walk in the morning and now you're exercised and ready to start the day.
Philip: Yeah. We got any more of those pecan rolls?

Carlton: Dad, before you start, I just wanna say I'm sorry about the death threat.
Philip: Son, I admit that wasn't exactly the bright spot of my day, but what really hurt the most is that you lied to me.
Carlton: But I didn't know how to tell you. I mean, you were so happy that Princeton wanted Will. I'd thought you'd like him more than me.
Philip: I could never like Will. Well, I mean, I like him... Wait a minute, here I am lying to you.
Carlton: I really blew it.
Philip: I'm sorry you won't get to go to Princeton. I know how much that meant to you.
Carlton: Dad, the only reason I wanted to go to Princeton is because I wanted to be like you.
Philip: You can't be like me, Carlton. Or like Will, or like anybody else. You can only be like you.
Carlton: There's no need to be cruel.
Philip: Son, who you are is just fine with me. I mean that. Carlton.
Carlton: Yeah?
Philip: You're grounded.
Carlton: Thanks, Dad.

Will: Okay, okay. All right, okay. Okay. Uncle Phil, all we're saying is all this could be yours if you invest in this.
Philip: An apartment building?
Will: No, no, no. This isn't just an apartment building, Uncle Phil. This is... [Jazz makes trumpet fanfare sound] Chalet Towers.
Jazz: Uh-huh.
Philip: I don't think I'm interested.
Will: Well, Jazz lives here, Uncle Phil.
Philip: Oh, that's very different. I know I'm not interested.