Nicky: Is dinner ready yet?
Vivian: Not quite, honey. Almost.
Nicky: Well, can't you just hit me with a little somethin'- somethin'?
Vivian: Not until dinner, honey.
Nicky: Aw, man. [Hattie slips Nicky some food] Yes.

Will: Never in the history of pugilistic pursuit has one so completely dominated. Muhammad, what do you have to say?
Nicky: I'm the greatest and I'm pretty. You know I made you, Howard.
Philip: What is going on here?
Will: Oh, you know, the family vowed to get in shape for the new year, so we gonna go to the gym. I'm gonna take Nicky and put him in a boxing class.
Philip: Oh, that's fine. Just make sure he learns that boxing is about athleticism and sportsmanship, not violence.
Nicky: [punching the inflatable] Now I'm gonna get medieval on you.
Will: We ain't really get to the sportsmanship part yet.

Nicky: Mommy and Daddy won't let me watch Bad Boys.
Will: Bad Boys, huh? What you gonna do?
Nicky: I know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna run away from home.
Will: Oh, Nick. Man, come here. You're running away from home?
Nicky: That's right. I'm out of here.
Will: Whoa, whoa. Hold on a second, there, little traveling man. You running away from home, you gonna need some food. You know, bums, they don't like to share. Here you go, a little grub. Hey, and it gets a little chilly out in that night air so you probably need a jacket and a hat. Yeah. Oh, you know. And here's a few bucks, you know, in case something jump off out there. All right. You good to go, little bro.
Nicky: Aren't you gonna try and stop me?
Will: Try to stop you? No, man, with you gone that's more food for me, you know. Plus, I get to keep your turtle and that banging little bike you got.
Nicky: My turtle and my bike?
Will: I mean, somebody gotta claim all that stuff. All right, I'll stay. But not because I'm scared. Not because you're taking my stuff. And not because of that reverse psychology you tried to use on me.
Will: Well, then why you gonna stay?
Nicky: I'm 5, you dork.

Will: Nick, have I ever kept you from achieving your dreams?
Nicky: Not many.
Will: I mean, you wouldn't call me narrow-minded, would you?
Nicky: You just don't get it, do you? I'm 5, you dork.

Ashley: Ooh. And I got these great fleece-lined boots.
Vivian: Oh, these are beautiful.
Nicky: Ashley, is New York as far away as Disneyland?
Philip: Nicky. Nicky. Sweetheart, she's not going to New York.
Nicky: I know. Can I come visit you?
Ashley: Yes.

Nicky: [counting candles] Forty-eight, 49, a jillion. Mom, how old are you?
Vivian: Hmm? Younger than your father.
Nicky: But everything's younger than Dad.

Nicky: Geoffrey, I'm gonna need some things taken care of in the pool house before I move in.
Geoffrey: Master Nicky, I do sympathize with your plight but I leave in a matter of days.
Nicky: That's plenty of time to paint. Chop-chop. [Geoffrey laughs]

Vivian: Where are you two going?
Will: To the beach.
Nicky: Yeah, me and Will are going trolling for slimmies.
Will: He be tripping.
Will: Ha, ha. Heh. No, he mean, "We gonna play in the sand." Ha, ha.
Nicky: Look, Ashley, it's Daddy's mad face.
Ashley: Come on, Nicky, let's go upstairs before Daddy's head explodes.

Penny: Hi, I'm Penny Abigail Jillette. This school has a warm, nurturing atmosphere.
Nicky: I'm Nicky. Is there any apple juice?

Nicky: It's really a turtle. He's inside his shell.
Miss Jensen: Is he hiding because he's nervous about going to a new school?
Nicky: No, he's watching Power Rangers.