Vivian: It is so nice to have the house all to ourselves.
Philip: Oh, it sure is. Now, why is it that we wanted kids?
Vivian: 'Cause of the way you get them.

Vivian: Philip, I think it's nice that the kids feel welcome and want to be around us.
Will: Actually, we got kicked out of six other people's cribs and a 7-Eleven parking lot. But, you mind if we just hang around here and, you know, order a couple of pizzas or something?
Philip: Well, it is a very special night for you, Will. Sure.
Will: All right. Thanks a lot, Uncle Phil. And you know what, man, this just feels great 'cause I remember a time when me and you didn't get along so good. All the yelling and screaming. You telling me, "Get on the first lane back to Philly." Hey, but this is now, and that was this morning.

Carlton: Will, you shouldn't be eating that garbage! Everyone knows, while you're in training no fats, no chocolate, and no women!
Will: Then I should probably cancel my date with that fat, chocolate woman.
Carlton: Will, you pitiful Maalox poster child. Get that grease buffet out of here and let's go to the game. Malibu Prep is playing Brentley High tonight and I want you to check out Malibu's guard, Marcus Stokes.
Will: I'm from Philly, homes, ain't nobody from Malibu gonna beat me in basketball. [as Muhammad Ali] Besides, I'm the greatest, I'm a bad man, and I'm pretty.

Carlton: Wow! Did you see Marcus Stokes jump?
Will: Luck.
Carlton: How is that luck?
Will: He's lucky I'm not out there. Carlton, the brother's from Malibu. The only tough break he had is when the lzod shop ran out of pink.
Carlton: God, I hate when that happens.

Will: Hey, Marcus, what's up, man? Will Smith, you probably recognize me from my picture in the sports page. They said that I'm a superbly well-oiled machine with the face of an angel and the body of a god. Maybe that's not an exact quote.
Marcus Stokes: No, I don't recognize the face, brother. But I do recognize them ears. They covered up half of "Dear Abby."
Will: Hey, you had a pretty cute game out there tonight.
Marcus Stokes: Oh, man, I'm glad you enjoyed it, 'cause I'm gonna do the same thing to your butt next week.
Will: I'm glad you're familiar with that because my butt is the only part of my anatomy you gonna see next week.
Marcus Stokes: Oh, really? I'll bring a couple of umbrellas for you and that scout because I'm gonna be raining jump shots.
Will: Hey, hold up, I'm the only reason that scout is coming in the first place. Only scout looking for you is trying to sell you some cookies.
Marcus Stokes: I like your style, Will. I definitely like your style. But let me be the first to congratulate you ahead of time for being voted Most Likely to Bag my Groceries.
Carlton: Yeah? Well, I got just one thing to say to you, Mr. Hot Shot. You may be tall and good-looking and a good basketball player... but you're not that nice.

Will: Has Marcus been around?
Nelson: I seen him once or twice.
Will: He got his game face on?
Nelson: Afraid so.
Will: So he wasn't fronting? Hey, he really does live around here?
Nelson: Yeah, he grew up right around the corner. Come from a good family, too. Got six of the prettiest sisters you ever seen.
Tommy: I believe the oldest one think I'm kind of cute.
Nelson: Marcus been playing ball over at Harriet Tubman Park since he was 6 years old. Tough little rascal he was, too. He used to play on the asphalt in his socks. Mother couldn't afford sneakers, you know.
Will: Sounds like he was about as tough as I was. Yeah, I used to play barefoot... on glass.
Tommy: Why?

Marcus Stokes: Hey, man, I was waiting around for you in the locker room. Why'd you let me go around you like that?
Will: What, you tripping, man? I didn't let you go around me.
Marcus Stokes: I know your game, Will. You let me go around you. If you were gonna play like that, why didn't you just sit in the stands?
Will: Look, come on, man, you impressed the scout. You'll go to a Division One college, then you'll go pro. You'll be able to get your kid everything. What're you beefing about?
Marcus Stokes: Oh, I get it. 'Cause I got a kid, I'm some kind of charity case? Well, let's get something straight, homey. My situation does not define who I am, I define who I am.
Will: Look, man. I got lucky, all right. You know, I got a rich uncle. A lot of brothers coming from where we come from, I mean, they don't have the same opportunities, man. That's your ticket.
Marcus Stokes: You know something, my Bel-Air brother? You been watching too many made-for-TV movies.

Will: Hey, Aunt Viv, Uncle Phil, we did it, we won again. We 4-and-0.
Carlton: And at our next game, there's gonna be a recruiter from Georgetown University.
Philip: Oh, that's great, kids. Why don't you go upstairs, get my wallet and take your friends to the movies? In Pittsburgh.
Carlton: Sorry about the unexpected guests, Dad. And, as manager of the team, I take full responsibility.
Philip: That's very honorable, son. You're grounded.

Will: Yo, Ty, man, what took you so long?
Tyriq: Hey, you ever try going to seven fast food joints on a city bus?
Will: No, I'm saving that for prom night.
Tyriq: Okay, you got your ribs. Oh, man, you got your fried chicken.
Will: Yes, sir.
Tyriq: Your hot wings.
Will: Yeah!
Tyriq: Your smokey links, your barbecue kielbasa and a bean pie fresh from the corner.
Will: Yes, sir. [both sit down to eat] Hey, you want some hot sauce on that?
Tyriq: Oh, yeah.

Carlton: I'll say one thing for Malibu, the babes are primo-delecto. Surf's up.
Will: And that ain't all. That must be jam, 'cause jelly don't shake like that.
Tyriq: Yo, Slimmy, need some help with your African American studies? We can go to my place and let freedom ring.