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‘Mother's Day’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Mother's Day

423. Mother's Day

Aired May 2, 1994

Jazz and his wife Jewel decide to start a family. Meanwhile, Philip urges the kids to buy Vivian's Mother's Day presents themselves.

Quote from Jazz

Jazz: Here you are, my brother, I brought you a card.
Will: Hey, thanks, Jazz. "Heard you had a stroke"?
Jazz: It was the closest we could find. You know, for some reason, Hallmark has overlooked this occasion.

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Quote from Will

Will: Uncle Phil, I got my Mom something she gonna love. She always wanted to get my baby shoes bronzed, but she never got around to it. So I hooked her up.
Ashley: Those are your baby shoes?
Will: Well, yeah. I had big feet. You know what they say about a guy with big feet.
Ashley: No, what?
Will: They- They be saying, "Damn, you got some big feet."

Quote from Jazz

Will: Come on, having a baby is a big responsibility.
Jazz: We're ready for it. Why, I even started saving for little Junior's college fund. [shakes pants pocket]
Will: Listen, I don't think I can do this.
Jazz: Sure you can. Will. Remember that time we went to go play ball and your shoelace broke and I gave you mine? Same thing.
Will: Jazz, man. Don't you have some relatives or something? Why me?
Jazz: I mean, you got a good heart. And you got a lot of smarts and you're tall, and you got good teeth.
Jewel: Of course, we'll be praying he gets my ears.

Quote from Jazz

Jazz: Well, the little darling's fast asleep.
Will: Are you sure you didn't kill her?
Jazz: I realize what a inconvenience we've been. But since you ain't getting us no wedding present, this is the least you could do.
Will: What are you talking about, man? I gave you a wedding.
Jazz: [scoffs] Take that to the bank. Look, Will, making a baby is a truly blessed event.
Will: I think you mean "having a baby," Jazz.
Jazz: Trust me on this.

Quote from Will

Jewel: What do you say? Can I have your baby? I'd really appreciate it.
Will: Ah. Jewel, come on. You are my best friend's wife. As much as that excites me, I think I better pass.
Jewel: I don't want your body, Will. I want your little soldiers.
Will: Do I look like the U.N.?

Quote from Will

Dana: That's okay, Will, I think I better go.
Will: But, wait, wait. Hey, hey, hey, baby. Come on, you ain't got to do that.
Dana: Oh, yes, I do. I'm really hungry.
Will: Hey, baby, baby, I can have some Rotiserie Gold here in six minutes.

Quote from Jazz

Will: [to Jazz] Well, you've done it again, haven't you?
Jewel: Done what, Jazzy?
Jazz: Munchkin, perhaps our visit is a little ill-timed. Don't worry, me and Jewel could sleep out on a park bench.
Jewel: I hear rain is nature's moisturizer.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: Thanks for hanging up, Will. I got thrown out of the restaurant and got a ticket for driving without a license. What are they doing here?
Will: Jazz's apartment is getting repainted.
Carlton: Oh, like I care. I'm going to my room, putting on my jammies and calling it a D-A-Y.
Jewel: Either his head's getting smaller or his butt's getting bigger.

Quote from Geoffrey

Philip: So have you kids shopped for Mother's Day?
Geoffrey: Oh, I'm afraid I haven't had a chance to buy their gifts. I'll get to the mall after lunch.
Philip: Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Geoffrey is picking out your presents?
Carlton: Of course not, big guy. We told him exactly what to get.
Geoffrey: Oh, yes. Down to the very last detail, sir. Let's see, there's "Some kind of perfume or something," from Miss Hilary. "A book might be neat," from Miss Ashley. And, "Here's 20 bucks and I expect some change back," from Master Carlton.
Philip: I can't believe you kids. How do you think your mother is going to feel when she finds out you didn't do your own shopping?
Hilary: Oh, I have no problem with my own shopping.

Quote from Jazz

Will: Whoa. Hey, I'm surprised y'all can walk.
Jazz: Your levity is inappropriate.
Jewel: We've been at the free clinic all morning to find out why my oven is as yet bunless.
Will: Come on, y'all haven't been baking long. Hey, and I'm sure, if you stick with that recipe... you'll get the ingredients mixed up...
Jazz: How can you think about food at a time like this? I mean, we ain't never gonna have a baby because... my little soldiers ain't marching.
Will: Bummer. Jazz, didn't I tell you to not be wearing them bikini drawers?
Jazz: You told me not to wear them in the streets. You ain't tell me not to wear them.
Will: You know what? It's probably just stress. Yeah. I'm sure that's what it is, man. I mean, y'all just got married, and you're always running from the law. And you know what? Why don't you go to another free clinic, get a second opinion.
Jazz: We can't afford another free clinic.
Will: Jazz, look. I'm really sorry for you, man. I mean, hey, at least y'all tried. Never heard two people try harder.
Jazz: Don't try to comfort me, Will. I'm uncomfortable.

Quote from Jazz

Will: Jewel, if Jazz ever found out about this, it would kill him.
Jazz: So you in?
Will: You know about this?
Jazz: Know about it? It was my idea.
Will: What are y'all asking me to do? Hey, look, look, look. How about I give y'all something else, like a VCR?
Jazz: You hear that, munchkin? He's giving us a VCR too. He's so full of love.
Jewel: Let's hope so.

Quote from Vivian

Vivian: Kids, I don't know how to thank you. Such thoughtful gifts.
Ashley: Well, you deserve them, Mom.
Vivian: And these roses they are exquisite. Thank you, honey.
Geoffrey: You're welcome.
Philip: Well, you know, it's the thought that counts.
Vivian: Yes, so think about sleeping on the couch for a while.

Quote from Jazz

Will: Hey, guys, sorry I'm late. Man, y'all at least could have waited until I got here before you ate.
Jewel: Oh, we didn't order. This was here when we sat down.
Jazz: They're cheap tippers too. Less than 15 percent. [pockets the tip]

Quote from Jazz

Jazz: I know we invited you to dinner, but would you mind paying for it? I saw my picture over the cash register.
Jewel: Come on, Jazzy, let's hit the salad bar. I brought my big purse.

Quote from Will

Will: [on answerphone] Yo, yo, what's up? This is Will. I can 't get to the phone right now. I kind of got my hands full. So leave a message, unless this is Carlton, in which case, don't.
Carlton: Will, it's Carlton. I got an emergency. Will, we just finished dinner and I think I left my wallet on the dresser, so could-
Dana: Who was that?
Will: It's just a wrong number, baby. [unplugs phone] Now, where was I? Oh, there I was.

Quote from Jazz

Jazz: Greetings. Look, munchkin, a romantic dinner for two.
Jewel: Jazzy, maybe we should revise our plans.
Jazz: You're right, my pet. Let's unpack after we eat.

Quote from Will

Jazz: I told the landlord, I don't you repainting our apartment. Those stains have memories.
Will: Jazz, homey, look, now, you know, mi casa es su casa. But, look, tonight, mi casa es mi casa. Yo, comprende negro?

Quote from Jazz

Carlton: There's a whole army of these action figures around my bed.
Jewel: They're fertility gods, Carlton.
Will: Wait. Y'all trying to have a baby?
Jewel: Yeah. Just because Jazzy and me away from the marital bed don't mean we ain't gonna-
Jazz & Jewel: Boomshakalaka, shakalaka, shakalaka, Boomshakalaka, shakalaka, shakalaka, Boomshakalaka, shakalaka, shakalaka
Will: Hey, whoa, whoa, guys. Hey, listen. I'm all for this being fruitful and multiplying thing but it's kind of close quarters here so you think y'all can put a boom-shaka-lock on it for a minute?
Jazz: I'd like to accommodate you, my brother, but we're on a mission.
Carlton: Not on my Posturepedic, bud.

Quote from Jazz

Will: Excuse us for a second. Listen, Jazz, man, look. I'm happy for you and your wife, but you think this mission could get scrubbed for a minute until your rocket is back on its launching pad?
Jazz: No can do, Will.
Jewel: The doctor at the clinic says this is when I'm at my most fertile. Which reminds me, sweetie. I took my temperature, all systems go.
Jazz: Permission to board the mother ship.
Jewel: Yeah.
Jazz: Yeah.
Carlton: Oh, no, you don't. There'll be no boarding of any kind, Mr. And Mrs... What the heck is your last name anyway? Hey, that's my bed.
Will: Carlton, relax, I'll get you some new Barney sheets.

Quote from Will

Will: I cannot believe they're at it again. Man, they are not human. Hey, Jazz. This ain't funny, man. I command you to stop. Roll away from the woman.

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