Janice: Well, Vy, tell me, what's the real deal between you and Robert?
Vy: I wasn't in love with him.
Aunt Helen: Girl, are you crazy? That man had a business, a car and money. Now, what's love got to do with it?

Janice: Frank, honey, I think it's time to change Frank, Jr.
Frank: Okay, babe. You know what, you look a little tired. Why don't you come and lay down and I'll rub your feet for a little while.
Janice: Thanks, baby.
Aunt Helen: That does it, I'm getting me a White man. [Vivian & Vy laugh]
Vy: Girl, stop it.
Aunt Helen: No, just to help around the house a little bit. Now, come on, you know you all were thinking it.

Aunt Helen: I'm still half asleep, so don't nobody talk to me.
Janice: Did the baby wake you up?
Aunt Helen: Eleanor and Lou woke me up. I swear that man's part jackhammer.
Vy: Oh, Lord, they didn't even eat this much at the Last Supper.
Aunt Helen: Well, I guess you old enough to remember.
Vy: Yeah, but I'm still young enough to kick your butt.

Vy: What are you all doing up?
Vivian: Eating and talking about sex.
Vy: Well, personally, I prefer eating. You don't have to wait an hour for seconds.

Vy: Baby, whatever it is, I will understand.
Will: I know, you'll understand and I'll be on my way to the emergency room.
Vy: Will, just say it.
Will: Mom, I don't want to move back home.
Vy: How can you say that? Baby, when I sent you out here, it was only on a temporary basis. I always expected you to come back home.
Will: So did I, Mom. And, I know I was tripping when I first came out here 'cause you were right, I needed to be out here. And I still need to be out here. You know, it's given me a head start, you know, so I can break out on my own.
Vy: What about college? You know I can't afford to send you to an out-of-state school.
Will: I know, Ma, but, look, I was hoping I could get a scholarship or a loan, and Uncle Phil said he'd help me. And, if that doesn't work, I'll get a job... I'll get two jobs, but please, don't make me move back home, Mommy.
Vy: Obviously, you've given this a lot of thought, huh? But I'll be honest with you, I still want you to come home. I miss you.
Will: I miss you, too, Mom. Look, but I'll visit. Every Christmas. And every Easter. And whatever else of them holidays it'd take to get that evil look out your face.
Vy: Well, it sounds like you made up your mind. So I guess I have to respect your decision.
Will: You do? I mean, you do! I love you, Mom.
Vy: I love you, too, baby. As much as I hate to admit it, your aunts were right and I was wrong. But don't you dare tell them, you hear me?

Aunt Helen: Aw, look at Little Frank. Now that's the first time a man has smiled at me since my divorce.
Carlton: Aunt Helen, I just want to say how sorry I am things didn't work out between you and Uncle Lester.
Aunt Helen: Oh, thank you, sweetheart.
Carlton: Do you think he'll still be sending me a gift for graduation?
Vivian: How has he been acting since the divorce?
Aunt Helen: Awful. I hate that man. But I don't like to badmouth him without the kid around. You know, it's like doing the work twice.

Vivian: Look at you two. Gosh, you look like a couple of kids.
Eleanor: You look like a couple of kids yourself.
Will: You all got to remember, she carrying Uncle Phil's child.

Vivian: Let me look at Frank, Jr. My goodness, where did you get those beautiful green eyes?
Will: I'm guessing, the guy with no rhythm.
Frank: You mean Carlton?

Aunt Helen: Diva!
Will: Whoa, whoa, think you could all come together next time? This is exhausting.
Aunt Helen: Let me look at you all. Vivian, girl, you are glowing.
Vivian: Thank you.
Will: Well, that's 'cause she be spending a lot of time in front of the microwave.
Vivian: Philip, that reminds me. Would you pick me up some microwave popcorn, please?
Philip: You know, next time I'm going to get pregnant.
Aunt Helen: Well, you certainly have the pants for it.
Will: Uncle Phil, if I would have said that I would have gotten smacked in my head. [Phil smacks Will's head]

Frank: Hey, you know, Vy, I have a brother who's single. Although, he's not a brother. I mean he is a brother because he's my brother, but he's just not your kind of brother. Oh, brother. Help me, Will.
Will: No, I think I'm going to stick with the Black folks on this one.