Vivian: Hilary, how did everything go with Ashley?
Hilary: Mother, she was a little angel. She polished my nails and cleaned out my closet. And to reward her, we went to this little cafe that's owned by John Cougar Mellencamp, Kim Basinger, and Doogie Howser's business manager. And we spent the afternoon drinking espresso.
Vivian: You let Ashley drink espresso?
Ashley: Hi, Mom! Hi, Dad! Let's go play! Come on, everybody, let's go play!

Vivian: Not tonight, sweetie, we kind of had an exhausting weekend.
Ashley: What happened?
Will: We got arrested.
Ashley: Arrested?
Hilary: By who? The fashion police?

Carlton: Is that the police?
Will: Punch it, man. We're in a Benz.
Carlton: Are you crazy? I call this a lucky break. A policeman is our pal. We can ask him for directions.

Will: Man, this is going to be hype. Yo, Palm Springs, the home of the dental floss bikini.
Philip: Will, before you get your mojo working, I think there's something you should know: You're not going.
Will: You know, you better tell that to my mojo because his bags is packed.

Carlton: Plans for Palm Springs. One: Work on golf swing. Two: Review SAT practice book. Three: Ask Mr. Furth about a summer internship.
Will: [dressed as Freddy Krueger] Four: Get the stick out of your butt.
Carlton: [screams] Way to go, Will. You almost made us crash.

Carlton: I can't believe we're lost. What's the name of this street? "Arguello Drive." Maybe that'll get us back to the freeway.
Will: Here, let me check. [sticks head out sunroof] No, man. No freeways. Carlton, look out! A low bridge! [sits back down with his t-shirt over his head] Look, thanks a lot, man. Now we got to go back and get my head! And I really liked that head.

Carlton: Can the yuck fest, Will. We're lost. And it's all your fault.
Will: You the one who ain't bring no map.
Carlton: Well, you're the one who had to go to the bathroom.
Will: You're the one that gave me that Shasta.

Carlton: No. The police thought we stole Mr. Furth's car. But they were just trying to do their jobs.
Hilary: Why did they think you stole it?
Philip: Hilary, we've been over that all weekend. It's late. I think we all should go to bed.
Ashley: Oh, I don't want to go to bed. I want to play Monopoly, I want to jump up. Let's go paint my room!
Vivian: Geoffrey, some warm milk, please.

Police Officer: Vehicle registration, please.
Carlton: Just a sec. But the thing is, Officer, this isn't my car.
Will: Get out of the car, Carlton.
Carlton: What?
Will: He's going to tell us to get out of the car.
Carlton: You watch too much TV, Will.
Police Officer: Get out of the car.
Carlton: Officer, honestly, I don't see the need to-
Police Officer: Hey, out of the car now.