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‘M is for the Many Things She Gave Me’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: M is for the Many Things She Gave Me

422. M is for the Many Things She Gave Me

Aired April 25, 1994

When Uncle Phil's old friend Janice (Pam Grier) arrives with her daughter, Wendy (Elise Neal), Carlton and Will bet on who will get a date with the young woman.

Quote from Hilary

Philip: So I'm at an anti-war rally getting ready to burn my draft card and Janice offers me a light.
Hilary: I am so against war. I mean, there's death and destruction... and they preempt your favorite programs. I remember during Desert Storm, trying to find Knots Landing...

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Quote from Hilary

Hilary: I have the greatest news. You know Al Riggins, the talk-show host?
Will: Yeah.
Hilary: Well, he's in a coma and they want me to test as his replacement. My horoscope was right. This is my lucky day.
Ashley: Hilary, aren't you even a little concerned?
Hilary: Oh, I'm plenty concerned. My competition is anchorwoman Mara Lopez. And you know how they favor those minority people.
Will: Maybe science can just come get her brain now.

Quote from Vivian

Philip: Well, the secret to a successful cookout is flame control.
Janice: Remember the last barbecue we were at? We were on the Jersey Shore protesting that toxic dump.
Philip: Oh, is that why that chicken tasted so funny?
Janice: We formed a human chain and kept the trucks out. Oh, remember?
Philip: Of course I remember. You were wearing that calico halter-top.
Janice: You know, I still have that halter-top.
Vivian: Philip, the fire's getting a little too hot. [sprays Philip with water] There, that's better.
Philip: Vivian, that was extremely childish.
Vivian: Childish? You are the one who is gawking over this woman in our own backyard.
Philip: She is an old friend. You cannot fault me for being friendly.
Vivian: Saint Bernards are friendly. But even they don't slobber as much as you.

Quote from Geoffrey

Carlton: Well, this hundred dollars says that she goes out with me first.
[After Carlton places his wallet down and walks over to Will, Geoffrey goes and grabs a note from Carlton's wallet]
Will: Okay, here's 50. And another 50. You're on and may the best man win: Me.
Geoffrey: [clears throat] Might I get in on this? Sure things don't come along every day. On Master William.
Carlton: Why would you pick him?
Geoffrey: With all due respect, young sir, I've seen you in action with women, and quite frankly, you're an idiot.

Quote from Will

Will: And you're sure that Aunt Viv is cool with your ex-girlfriend coming to visit, huh?
Philip: Oh well, actually, Janice was never officially my girlfriend. Not that I didn't try. Man, oh, man, did I try. Flowers, poems, dinners. I must have sprung for over 50 of them.
Will: Well, maybe it would have worked if you had taken her too. Sorry, it was just a little collegiate humor.

Quote from Will

Will: Hey, G, I gotta tell you, man. If this girl is built anything like her mother I might have to check the premises, you know what I'm saying? I might have to go see what the foundation is like, know what I mean?
Carlton: Hold your permit, mister. What makes you think the daughter's gonna opt for you when she can have me?
Will: Well, number one, because I don't be saying stuff like "opt." Number two, because Geoffrey still has to cut up your food.

Quote from Carlton

Wendy: Are those prunes?
Carlton: Yes. I have this theory about regularity. Perhaps after dinner we can go for a drive and talk about it in depth.
Will: I'm telling you, G, get down for another hundred.

Quote from Geoffrey

Philip: Geoffrey, where's my purple tie?
Geoffrey: It's in your tie drawer next to the Pringles.
Will: Least that's better than the Kit Kat he keep with his drawers.

Quote from Will

Janice: [o.s.] So how would you describe the earthquake?
Will: Well, you know, it was kind of like Shaq picked up the pool house and he was shaking it, you know, like them little snow globes. You know, then... Then I heard all this crying.
Janice: [o.s.] Was that baby Nicky?
Will: No, no, baby Carlton.
Janice: [o.s.] He's not the most mature young man, is he?
Will: Well, he's kind of like a 10-year-old trapped in a 12-year-old's body.

Quote from Will

Will: Well, listen Mrs. Robertson, I have to be honest. I'm... I'm, you know not really feeling right about being here with you in, you know that... That thing.
Janice: Is there a problem?
Will: Well, yeah, I mean when a woman changes into something more comfortable, it usually means she wanna get more comfortable, you know. And frankly, I'm a little uncomfortable with this higher level of comfort.
Janice: Will, I've put on a couple of pounds, and my dress was too tight. There, you happy?
Will: I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I was completely out of line. Listen, my uncle has a fat problem. I should be more sensitive.

Quote from Will

Philip: You just getting in?
Will: Oh, just because a guy comes in in the morning wearing the same thing he had on the night before that doesn't mean he slept with anybody.
Philip: Take it easy, I'm not accusing you of anything.
Will: Maybe we parked and watched the sun come up.
Philip: All right.
Will: Or maybe we sat in the lobby and we talked all night! People do do that, you know!
Philip: I said I believe you!
Will: Good! Because I... I ain't do nothing wrong.
Philip: Did you get to spend any time with Wendy's mother?
Will: No, no, no. They was in two separate rooms, and I wasn't in either one.
Philip: Oh, before she leaves, try to spend time with her. She has a lot to offer.
Will: More than you know.
Philip: What?
Will: I said I gotta go.

Quote from Will

Carlton: Well, well, well. And where have you been all night, mister?
Will: I'm sorry, I only answer to people over 5 feet.
Philip: [to Carlton] You're over 5 feet, aren't you?

Quote from Will

Wendy: Oh, boy. That was a lot of fun. I sure love those old movies.
Will: Oh, yeah. Cleopatra Jones, the superbad sister.
Wendy: Oh, who do you think would win in a street fight? Cleopatra Jones or Grace Jones?
Will: Oh, see, now you're getting philosophical on me now, see. See, now, Cleopatra Jones, see, she got that karate stuff, right? She got some sweet moves on her. Plus, she be packing heat. But Grace Jones, she just scary.

Quote from Ashley

Ashley: [as Uncle Phil] Ashley, go to your room.
Carlton: Oh, I love this!
Ashley: [as Uncle Phil] And take Carlton with you.
Carlton: Hey, I'm not going anywhere.
Philip: You heard what I said.

Quote from Philip

Philip: Oh, God. You know what it's like to really go after a woman and never get her?
Will: No.
Philip: Well, finally, after two years I realized that Janice wasn't gonna have me, so I settled for Vivian. [Vivian slams her handbag down] With Vivian. With Vivian! Sweetheart, that came out wrong. Honey! Honey?
Will: Baby. Geoffrey, prepare Mr. Banks' couch.

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