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‘Just Say Yo’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Just Say Yo

319. Just Say Yo

Aired February 15, 1993

Will is feeling overwhelmed with school, basketball, his job and his relationship, so he accepts a bottle of amphetamines from a classmate.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: Where am I? Last thing I remember, I was doing the running man to I Will Always Love You.
Will: Carlton, you're at a hospital.
Carlton: Wow, I feel terrible. I never thought losing my virginity would be this painful.
Will: Carlton, I got some bad news.
Carlton: Oh, God, I malfunctioned.
Will: No. See, you never made it past the dance floor. Those pills that you took weren't vitamins.
Carlton: What were they?
Will: Look, you gotta promise you're not gonna overreact.
Carlton: What could be worse than finding out I'm still a virgin?
Will: It was speed.
Carlton: Oh, my God. I'm a drug addict and a virgin!

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Quote from Will

John: You know, we're counting on you for the big game this weekend.
Will: Hey, man, don't you even worry about me. I'm gonna be there. "Smith dribbles. He stops. He pops. He scores. The crowd goes wild!" [yawns] Man, I'm beat.
John: You could do what I do.
Will: No, that's all right. I don't think listening to Bruce Springsteen got the same effect on Black people.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: Will, pardon my tough love but this burning the candle at both ends is dumb, dumb, dumb.
Will: I know, Carlton. I just wish there was something else I could do. It's like there ain't enough hours in the day. Carlton, did you ever think about taking, you know, drugs?
Carlton: Will, you don't have to beat around the bush. I know exactly what you're getting at.
Will: You do?
Carlton: You see the volcano-sized pimple about to erupt on my forehead and you don't think vitamin E is strong enough.
Will: No, man. I mean, well, yeah, but... I mean, the kind of drugs that help you stay up.
Carlton: Up? You don't mean... [Will nods] Oh, this sex thing is even more complicated than I thought.
Will: You know what? Never mind, man.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: Well, can't we at least move me to another part of the hospital? I've got a reputation to worry about.
What if I want to run for a political office?
Nurse: Well, now, I'll tell you the same thing I told the last person that asked me that question: Just say you didn't inhale.
Will: Listen, listen, somehow we're missing each other. I mean, does he look like a drug addict?
Nurse: Do I?
Will: Can we stick to the subject, please?
Nurse: Listen, sweetie, the first time I came into this hospital it was on a stretcher. Hell, I've been from Yale to jail, and from Park Avenue to park bench but now I'm clean and sober.
Carlton: That's really touching... but do you think you can get me a nurse without a record?
Nurse: [chuckles] I like him. Try and help him to stick around.

Quote from Philip

Will: Those pills that Carlton took, um, they were from my locker.
Philip: What?
Will: Look, Uncle Phil, I was just keeping them in case I needed them.
Philip: How could you be so stupid? You know you shouldn't be messing with drugs.
Will: I know, Uncle Phil. Somebody gave them to me at school. I mean, I didn't mean for Carlton to take them. I didn't even know if I was going to take them. I'm sorry, Uncle Phil.
Philip: Sorry? My son could have died because of you.
Will: Look, I know, Uncle Phil, that's all I've been thinking about. I mean, you gotta believe me. I didn't mean to hurt him.
Philip: Yeah, well, you did. You hurt him, and you could have hurt yourself.
Will: I know, Uncle Phil, I mean... But, look, I had basketball practice, and school, and I had work and everything.
Philip: Well, welcome to the real world, Will. That's not an excuse. There's never an excuse. You owe this family an apology. Vivian! Kids!

Quote from Will

Philip: Will has something to tell you.
Will: Come on, Uncle Phil, don't make me-
Philip: Go ahead, Will.
Will: Um... The pills that Carlton took, they were from my locker.
Vivian: What?
Will: I'm sorry, Aunt Viv. I mean, I had basketball practice, and I had finals, and everything... And one of the guys at school just offered me some stuff to help me stay awake. And then Carlton... Look, all I know is that somebody real close to me that I love a whole lot could be dead right now and it would be all my fault. I'm sorry, man. I'm sorry.
Philip: Come here. Come here.
Will: I'm sorry I did it.
Philip: It's okay.

Quote from Hilary

Ashley: Here, Hilary, you take it out.
Hilary: Out where?
Ashley: To the trash cans. You know, those things you hit every time you back out the car.
Hilary: Thank God. I thought it was the neighbor's kids.

Quote from Will

Will: God, if you let Carlton be okay I swear I'll never make fun of him again. I'll go to Church every Sunday. I'll even give up women.
Carlton: Will, was that you?
Will: You know I was just kidding about that woman part, right?

Quote from Geoffrey

Geoffrey: Here you are, Master William, maybe this'll help. It's an old remedy passed down in my family from generation to generation.
Will: G, it's coffee.
Geoffrey: No, it's Folgers Crystals.

Quote from Will

Nurse: Well, Mr. Banks, you gave us quite a scare. How you feeling now?
Carlton: Terrible. I wanna go home.
Nurse: Your parents are on the way but we will have to keep you here in the Chemical Dependency Unit overnight.
Carlton: Excuse me?
Nurse: Oh, I'm sorry, but that's standard procedure with all our substance-abuse patients.
Will: Excuse me, Miss Irene, that's such a pretty name. Listen, um, I don't think you understand. See, Carlton is not addicted to drugs. I mean, Carlton hates drugs. We still have to mix his aspirin in with applesauce.
Nurse: Well, that may be but that certainly wasn't applesauce we pumped out of his stomach.

Quote from Carlton

Will: Thanks a lot for covering for me, man. But why did you do it?
Carlton: I don't know. I think I was still high. Will, how long have you been taking drugs?
Will: Come on, man, I ain't taking no drugs. All right, look, I thought about it, but... Look, you wouldn't understand, man.
Carlton: Will, you're not the only one who's ever thought about taking drugs.
Will: You're kidding.
Carlton: Hey, I've got a wild side. I don't always wear shower shoes at the gym.

Quote from Carlton

Geoffrey: Master Carlton, I have to take this tray up to your mother, so on your way out would you mind taking out the garbage?
Carlton: Do I look like Roc?
Will: I don't know, Carlton, maybe if you shaved your head bald and sanded down the square part.
Carlton: Ashley, you take out the garbage.
Ashley: Why me?
Carlton: Because I'm bigger than you.
Will: See, that's not fair. That's only 'cause you got them shoe lifts in today.
Carlton: They're not lifts. I doubled up on my Odor-Eaters.

Quote from Geoffrey

Philip: Good morning, Geoffrey. Isn't it a glorious day?
Geoffrey: Actually, sir, I have an impacted wisdom tooth, my hair is falling out, and I have a bunion the size of my fist.
Philip: Oh, no. We're out of Mrs. Butterworth's.
Geoffrey: Thanks for the talk, big guy.

Quote from Will

Philip: Hey, Will, why don't you sit down and eat?
Will: Sorry but, Uncle Phil, I ain't got no time. Oh, man. Hey, look, any chance of you letting me balance this book on your head? Hey, you know I was gonna put the waffles up there but that's just a little too close to your mouth, you know what I mean?

Quote from Geoffrey

Philip: Will, sit down. You're giving me motion sickness.
Will: Sorry about that, Uncle Phil. Man, it's like there's so much to do. I mean, between my school work and Cindy and, you know, my job and Cindy and, you know, basketball and Cindy... Wow, you think I'm neglecting Cindy?
Philip: Maybe you should take a little time off from work. You're gonna wear yourself out.
Geoffrey: Thank you, sir. It's nice to know that all my labors haven't gone unnoticed.
Philip: I was talking to Will.
Geoffrey: And I, apparently, was talking to myself.

Quote from Will

Carlton: Will. Will. Will, wake up. Vanessa keeps staring at my pimples. What should I do?
Will: Stare at hers.
Carlton: Come on, Will, you gotta help me. This could be the biggest night of my life.
Will: Yeah, to go along with the biggest zit of your life.
Carlton: The least you can do is give me some vitamin E.
Will: Carlton, vitamin E is not going to help, man. A sandblaster is not going to help, man.
Carlton: Come on, Will, don't hold out on me. You have any or not?
Will: Look, I don't know. Look, check my locker, man. Look, and if there ain't nothing in there you can just pull your big ol' bottom lip up over your head.

Quote from Philip

Nurse: I'm sorry, folks, but this patient of ours has to get his rest.
Vivian: Well, we're not gonna leave our baby alone. We're gonna be spending the night.
Philip: We are? I mean, we are, yes. Could you get us some clean linen for that bed?
Vivian: Honey, I don't think we can both fit in that bed.
Philip: Right, and a chair for my wife.

Quote from Will

Hilary: This is gross. I don't touch greasy, disgusting things.
Will: Well, just pretend it's buying you dinner afterwards.
Hilary: You take it.
Will: Yo, girl!
Hilary: And for your information, dinner comes first.
Will: Oh, it's like that, right? You're just gonna slam garbage at me.
Philip: Good morning, Will.
Will: Good morning, Uncle Phil. Here's your lunch.
Philip: Thank you.

Quote from Will

Philip: Will, how about it? You sure there's nobody who can cover for you at the restaurant?
Will: No, I wish there was, Uncle Phil. I've got to make some extra money for the prom. I mean, 'cause I wouldn't feel like a gentleman if I made Cindy pay for my half, too.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: Look at my face!
Will: Please, man, we eating.
Carlton: Will. This is serious. The prom's only three days away, and I got a pimple.
Philip: Carlton, we're eating.
Carlton: I need some vitamin E. Oh, I should have seen it coming. It never fails. Every time I have a big date I get a big pimple.
Will: Well, judging by the size of that thing, you must be going out with Nell Carter.

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