
‘I, Ooh, Baby Baby’
Season 6, Episode 11 - Aired December 11, 1995
Hilary realizes her life is lacking something when her show going national fails to satisfy her. Meanwhile, Carlton and Ashley compete over decorating the Christmas tree.
Quote from Hilary
Dr. Duane: I found this place the first year of my internship. I was dying for food that didn't come out of a machine.
Hilary: Yeah, I spent some time in Milan and this place reminds me of a little restaurant near the Piazza Di Vani. So any mental illness in your family?
Dr. Duane: [chuckles] Excuse me?
Hilary: Schizophrenia? Anorexia? You know, general weirdness?
Dr. Duane: Uh, not that I know of. So tell me, what were you doing in Italy?
Hilary: Shopping and studying Italian.
Dr. Duane: Oh, so you speak Italian?
Hilary: Well, not exactly. I did more shopping than studying, but it didn't matter I mean, they have translators in all those little shops.
Quote from Hilary
Hilary: Excuse me. I'd like some information about your, um, inventory.
Clerk: Are you looking for something specific?
Hilary: What have you got in a hunk?
Quote from Ashley
Ashley: Carlton, what are you doing?
Carlton: Mom said while she was gone, I could decorate the tree.
Ashley: No, Mom said while she was gone, I could decorate.
Hattie: All right. Carlton, you take one half of the tree. Ashley, you take the other.
Ashley: Fine. Carlton, you can have the top half.
Quote from Hilary
Spokeswoman: Our patented big-girl panel gives you all the support you need. And remember, maternity clothes don't have to be drab.
Hilary: But beware, in that last trimester, stripes are not our friends. Well, that's all the time we have on our first national show. Thank you all for watching, and remember... Bye.
Quote from Will
Hattie: There's nothing quite like putting up Christmas decorations.
Will: Yeah. Hey, what you want for Christmas, Granny?
Hattie: Oh, at my age, you don't need much. Just the love of your family.
Will: Oh. Cool. Hey, but at my age, you need a little more. Listen, you mind taking a look at this here? I know you got a little pull with the big guy, you know so I was hoping you'd put in a word for me. Hey, just let him know that the few times that I have been naughty, it was real nice. You know what I mean?
Quote from Will
Will: Hey. Uncle Phil, what you think?
Philip: Oh, it's, uh, big.
Will: Hey, you know, it's the perfect size for, like, I don't know... a THX, Dolby Pro Logic, surround-sound subwoofer. Uh, what's my odds? [Uncle Phil laughs] Laughing, that's a good sign.
Quote from Will
Hilary: I just thought I'd stop by and see the baby.
Julie: Well...
Hilary: Oh, he's so cute. Isn't he, Will?
Will: Oh, yeah. Well, you know, bald head, pudgy. If he had a beard, he'd look just like my Uncle Phil.
Quote from Geoffrey
Hilary: Daddy, you're gonna be a grandpa. Daddy, say something.
Philip: Geoffrey, get the Scotch.
Geoffrey: It's gone, sir.
Philip: What?
Geoffrey: You've said my attitude has improved lately.
Philip: How could this happen?
Geoffrey: It's the pressure, sir.
Quote from Hilary
Philip: Just how pregnant are you?
Hilary: Who said I was pregnant? I said I was gonna have a baby.
Will: I think Aunt Viv must've dropped the ball on that little girl-girl talk.
Philip: Hilary, you're not making any sense.
Hilary: I'm not pregnant yet. I'm gonna go down to one of those fertility clinics and find a donor. After Will and I went to the hospital, I realized what was missing in my life. I need a baby.
Philip: Oh. [chuckles] Are you insane? Do you have any idea what having a baby entails, huh? This is madness. A baby is a lifetime commitment. A commitment that a couple makes. A baby is not a pick-me-up. Scotch is a pick-me-up. Damn that, Geoffrey.
Hilary: Daddy, I didn't come here for your permission, I came here for your blessing.
Quote from Will
Philip: This is your fault.
Will: Hey, man. How you gonna blame me?
Philip: You're the one who took her to the hospital. Therefore, it's your fault. There. Oh, forget it. I don't know what I'm saying. What am I gonna say to Vivian?
Will: Uh... "Hi, Grandma"? [laughs] Hoo.