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‘I, Ooh, Baby Baby’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: I, Ooh, Baby Baby

611. I, Ooh, Baby Baby

Aired December 11, 1995

Hilary realizes her life is lacking something when her show going national fails to satisfy her. Meanwhile, Carlton and Ashley compete over decorating the Christmas tree.

Quote from Hilary

Dr. Duane: I found this place the first year of my internship. I was dying for food that didn't come out of a machine.
Hilary: Yeah, I spent some time in Milan and this place reminds me of a little restaurant near the Piazza Di Vani. So any mental illness in your family?
Dr. Duane: [chuckles] Excuse me?
Hilary: Schizophrenia? Anorexia? You know, general weirdness?
Dr. Duane: Uh, not that I know of. So tell me, what were you doing in Italy?
Hilary: Shopping and studying Italian.
Dr. Duane: Oh, so you speak Italian?
Hilary: Well, not exactly. I did more shopping than studying, but it didn't matter I mean, they have translators in all those little shops.

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Quote from Hilary

Hilary: Excuse me. I'd like some information about your, um, inventory.
Clerk: Are you looking for something specific?
Hilary: What have you got in a hunk?

Quote from Ashley

Ashley: Carlton, what are you doing?
Carlton: Mom said while she was gone, I could decorate the tree.
Ashley: No, Mom said while she was gone, I could decorate.
Hattie: All right. Carlton, you take one half of the tree. Ashley, you take the other.
Ashley: Fine. Carlton, you can have the top half.

Quote from Hilary

Spokeswoman: Our patented big-girl panel gives you all the support you need. And remember, maternity clothes don't have to be drab.
Hilary: But beware, in that last trimester, stripes are not our friends. Well, that's all the time we have on our first national show. Thank you all for watching, and remember... Bye.

Quote from Will

Hattie: There's nothing quite like putting up Christmas decorations.
Will: Yeah. Hey, what you want for Christmas, Granny?
Hattie: Oh, at my age, you don't need much. Just the love of your family.
Will: Oh. Cool. Hey, but at my age, you need a little more. Listen, you mind taking a look at this here? I know you got a little pull with the big guy, you know so I was hoping you'd put in a word for me. Hey, just let him know that the few times that I have been naughty, it was real nice. You know what I mean?

Quote from Will

Will: Hey. Uncle Phil, what you think?
Philip: Oh, it's, uh, big.
Will: Hey, you know, it's the perfect size for, like, I don't know... a THX, Dolby Pro Logic, surround-sound subwoofer. Uh, what's my odds? [Uncle Phil laughs] Laughing, that's a good sign.

Quote from Will

Hilary: I just thought I'd stop by and see the baby.
Julie: Well...
Hilary: Oh, he's so cute. Isn't he, Will?
Will: Oh, yeah. Well, you know, bald head, pudgy. If he had a beard, he'd look just like my Uncle Phil.

Quote from Geoffrey

Hilary: Daddy, you're gonna be a grandpa. Daddy, say something.
Philip: Geoffrey, get the Scotch.
Geoffrey: It's gone, sir.
Philip: What?
Geoffrey: You've said my attitude has improved lately.
Philip: How could this happen?
Geoffrey: It's the pressure, sir.

Quote from Hilary

Philip: Just how pregnant are you?
Hilary: Who said I was pregnant? I said I was gonna have a baby.
Will: I think Aunt Viv must've dropped the ball on that little girl-girl talk.
Philip: Hilary, you're not making any sense.
Hilary: I'm not pregnant yet. I'm gonna go down to one of those fertility clinics and find a donor. After Will and I went to the hospital, I realized what was missing in my life. I need a baby.
Philip: Oh. [chuckles] Are you insane? Do you have any idea what having a baby entails, huh? This is madness. A baby is a lifetime commitment. A commitment that a couple makes. A baby is not a pick-me-up. Scotch is a pick-me-up. Damn that, Geoffrey.
Hilary: Daddy, I didn't come here for your permission, I came here for your blessing.

Quote from Will

Philip: This is your fault.
Will: Hey, man. How you gonna blame me?
Philip: You're the one who took her to the hospital. Therefore, it's your fault. There. Oh, forget it. I don't know what I'm saying. What am I gonna say to Vivian?
Will: Uh... "Hi, Grandma"? [laughs] Hoo.

Quote from Jazz

Clerk: [to Hilary] Well, you'll be happy to know that our donors are screened very thoroughly. We have everything from doctors to rocket scientists.
[Jazz comes out of one of the rooms with a magazine]
Jazz: You wouldn't happen to have this month's, would you?
Clerk: Sure. Here you are, doctor.
Jazz: Thank you.
Clerk: We get lots of doctors.
Hilary: Ugh! I don't think so.
Will: [to Jazz] Hey, yo. Thanks a lot, man.
Jazz: Glad I could be of service.
Will: Hey, come on, let's get out of here.
Jazz: Uh... I'll catch up to you later.

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: So back to you. Any heart disease? Gingivitis? Midgets?
Dr. Duane: No.
Hilary: Any relatives in the circus?
Dr. Duane: Uh, not that I know of. I mean I did have an uncle who was a clown.
Hilary: Ew. Duly noted. Oh. Aren't they so cute? You're so lucky, you get to be around babies all the time.
Dr. Duane: Yeah, babies are great. I can't wait to have a family someday. How about you?
Hilary: I suppose.
Dr. Duane: Oh, so you're not ready for babies, huh?
Hilary: No, I'm definitely ready for a baby, it's just the family. I mean I hadn't thought about it, I guess.
Dr. Duane: I don't understand. I mean, how can you have one without the other?
Hilary: Wait, wasn't I the one asking all the questions?

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: Daddy, I'm not gonna have a baby.
Philip: Oh, that's a relief. I must tell you, this whole thing has been very upsetting.
Hilary: It's been upsetting for me too. I thought that the show going national was gonna change my life. I mean, I had set certain career goals for myself and then when I reached them, I still felt empty.
Philip: Sweetheart, it's fine to have career goals, but it's wrong to assume that's all you need to make you happy.
Hilary: I know. That's why I thought I needed a baby. Maybe I need a new car.
Philip: Oh, God, Hilary.
Hilary: I'm kidding, Daddy.
Philip: Oh, God. I don't have all the answers. I wish I did, but I don't. You know, it used to be so easy. You'd cry, I'd buy you a bracelet. You cried louder, maybe some earrings.
Hilary: I miss those days.
Philip: Well, just remember happiness comes from inside.

Quote from Will

Will: Hey, hey, that's enough, you two. All right, now, each side is very nice in its own way. [Uncle Phil nods]
Carlton: You really think so, Will?
Will: Yeah. I mean, you might've laid the flock on a little thick but other than that, it's very busy.
Philip: Not bad, Will. Not bad.
Will: Well, hey, I'm just kind of getting the hang of this parenting thing here, know what I mean?
Ashley: Hey, Dad, I'm heading down to the mall. Mind if I borrow a few bucks?
Will: I'm sorry, I'm busted. You're gonna have to get back with me later on that one.

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: Oh, great, Geoffrey you're here.
Geoffrey: And if I said I weren't, would you leave me alone?
Hilary: You can't get me down, Geoffrey. Not today. Today is the happiest day of my life. Until tomorrow, when my show goes national which will make that the new happiest day of my life. That'll make today...
Geoffrey: I get the pattern, Miss Hilary.
Hilary: Then you'll hem these? Great. Geoffrey's on board.

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