Hilary: Daddy, we're not gonna do anything to make you upset ever again. Oh, by the way, I dented the Mercedes.

Vivian: Sweetheart, I am so glad to have you home safe and well. And if you ever do anything to scare me like that again, I'll kill you.
Philip: Don't worry, I won't. I'm lucky to have such a wonderful family. Even my pain-in-the-butt nephew.
Will: I love you too, Uncle Phil.
Philip: Yeah, yeah.
Will: Hey, come on, let's go watch some TV.
Philip: Okay.
Carlton: There's still no furniture.
Philip: Oh, that's all right.
Will: Oh, man, we don't have no remote.
Philip: Sure we do. Geoffrey!