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Hilary Gets a Life

‘Hilary Gets a Life’

Season 2, Episode 14 - Aired January 6, 1992

After Hilary spends like crazy on their credit cards, Philip and Vivian force her to get a job.

Quote from Hilary

Cindy: If I'm gonna find a dress for my interview, we better get going.
Hilary: Oh, I can't. Do you believe my parents have called some family meeting? I mean, do I look like a Huxtable?


Quote from Hilary

Philip: Oh, great, you're all together.
Vivian: Will, we've got something to say to you.
Philip: We want to congratulate you for setting such a fine example for the other kids.
Will: Is this some kind of sick joke?
Vivian: No, baby, not at all. We are very proud of the way you've managed to balance your school work and your part-time job.
Carlton: Is this some kind of sick joke?
Philip: These bills are no joke. You kids could stand to learn a thing or two from Will.
Hilary: Are we, like, in the Twilight Zone? When does everyone put on the pig masks?

Quote from Will

Will: You said you was gonna take yours back.
Tyriq: Come on, now, man, look. I deserve to keep the shirt because I was in eighth grade the longest.
Will: Come on, this definitely ain't gonna do nothing for the misconception that all brothers look alike.
Tyriq: Right, wait. What are we doing here, anyway? I thought you said we were going to the Bar Mista?
Will: It's "bar mitzvah," dunce cap. The Bar Mista is a go-go joint on Sunset.
Hilary: Oh, thanks guys. Could you get the rest of the stuff out of the car?
Will: Yeah, we'll grab that, but I told you we gotta get out of here. We get to meet who we got matched up with today. And I don't want to miss out on a lovely young lady who thinks I'm Arsenio's younger brother, Vesuvia.

Quote from Ashley

Will: See, look, it won't be that bad, man. I mean, how hard can it be to serve a couple of 13-year-old boys?
Ashley: 13-year-old boys? Count me in. After all, Hilary's my sister.

Quote from Geoffrey

Will: All right, thanks, now I just gotta try to get G to come. You know how tight he is with his days off. Hey, G! Big, big party, man. Plenty of honeys.
Geoffrey: No.
Will: Well, G's probably right. How much fun could you have with chumpies named Di, Fergie, and Elizabeth? I mean, you know. [Will, Carlton & Ashley exit]
Geoffrey: [to himself] He's lying. It's clearly a lie. It's a blatant, bold-faced lie! [stands up] I'll hate myself in the morning.

Quote from Will

Will: Hilary, what is wrong with you, child?
Hilary: They're out there.
Will: Well, Hilary, other than the pork thing, they're pretty much just like us.
Hilary: I'm talking about Cindy and Krista. If my friends see me serving food, I'll be the laughingstock of Bel-Air!
Will: Hilary, don't be ridiculous. Carlton's the laughingstock of Bel-Air. Besides, you're the caterer. You can't hide in the kitchen all night!
Hilary: You're right. They might come in here.
Will: What are you- [Hilary hides in the storage cupboard] Hilary! You know, ever since you got a job I've been working my butt off!

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: Forget it, Will. I'd rather share a seesaw with Delta Burke.

Quote from Will

Will: Look, I'm telling you man, it'd be cool.
Tyriq: I'm not. No one's gonna believe you're a nuclear physicist. You have trouble working the pumps on your shoes. Let me check in with my fan club. So, I got a little question for you all. Do you all see me more as a biblical scholar or a nuclear physicist?
Krista: I see you as an extra from Hook.
Will: You better watch it before I make you walk the plank.

Quote from Will

Philip: I can see just fine. They're just making the print smaller than they used to. Now, this looks like $300 for a pair of shoes, what's it say?
Vivian: $300 dollars for shoes.
Philip: Hmm.
Hilary: Point being?
Philip: Kids we'd like to talk to Hilary alone.
Will: Yes, sir. I think I'll slide out and simonize my halo.

Quote from Will

Will: [in the mirror] Yes, hi, I'm Dr. Smith. Sorry I'm late, I had to slide down to the nuclear facility and split an atom.

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