Previous Episode Next Episode 

‘Hi-Ho Silver’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Hi-Ho Silver

210. Hi-Ho Silver

Aired November 18, 1991

Will and Carlton are convinced that a famous actress, Sonya Lamor (Zsa Zsa Gabor), stole Vivian's silverware at a party.

Quote from Will

Philip: The silver's obviously not in the house. It must have been stolen.
Vivian: Oh, I would hate to think that a neighbor took it.
Will: We need that little White lady from Murder, She Wrote.
Vivian: Boys, we'll keep looking, but go ahead and drop this cake off at Sonya's.
Will: All right. And if you all happen to be digging around under my bed those videotapes are for my report on Clarence Thomas.

Rate

Quote from Philip

Philip: Oh, that diet and exercise regimen your mother put me on has really changed my life. I never felt better. It's so nice having her home all the time. She wakes up cheerful in the morning, leaves little love notes in my briefcase, calls me up at work just to chat. That woman must be stopped.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: This is all your fault!
Will: What? My fault? You're the one that said it was Aunt Viv's silverware.
Carlton: Since when do you listen to me?
Will: Let's just stop arguing, man. Let's think of a plan.
Carlton: We'll get caught. We'll go to jail. Kid 'N Play will portray us in a movie.

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: Thanks for the tour, but we better get going. I just know we're going to be surrounded by autograph seekers at Neiman's.
Sonya Lamor: I'm used to it, darling. I'm very famous.
Hilary: No, I meant everyone always mistakes me for Whitney Houston.

Quote from Will

Hilary: Look, I know Mom's a lousy cook, but all the same I'm really glad that she quit her job.
Will: Yeah, I mean, having her home all the time is great. I mean, you know, she picks our clothes out for us and checks our homework and, you know, cuts the crust off the end of our bread. Hey, look, that woman must be stopped, y'all.

Quote from Geoffrey

Geoffrey: Madam, I have taken the liberty of polishing your grandmother's silver for tonight's dinner party.
Will: Whoa, is that G or Philip Michael Thomas?
Geoffrey: I take it you're referring to this charming ensemble which your aunt insisted I wear. It is only my humble opinion but... [quietly] that woman must be stopped! Ciao.

Quote from Philip

Philip: You kids don't know how lucky you are, now that she's home all the time.
Vivian: Oh, thank you, Philip.
Philip: Well, I've never felt better since I've been on this diet of exercise and healthy food.
Will: [hangs up phone] Uncle Phil, that was for you. They said you left your wallet at the Donut Depot.

Quote from Will

Philip: I hope Sonya goes for this contract proposal.
Vivian: Well, maybe this cake will sweeten the deal.
Carlton: Will and I are going to Tower Records to pick up a few CDs.
Will: Yeah, I'm gonna teach Carlton how to tap his foot on beat.

Quote from Geoffrey

Geoffrey: Madame, I have some distressing news. Your heirloom silverware is missing! And someone's stolen my new uniform!
Vivian: What?
Philip: Well, it's probably just misplaced. Let's split up and look for it.
Geoffrey: Oh, no, no. Don't trouble yourself, sir. I'll just go back to wearing my old uniform.
Philip: I was talking about the silverware.

Quote from Carlton

Will: Whoa, this house is no joke! Hey, isn't this the cane that you used in An Officer and a Hussy?
Sonya Lamor: I played opposite Olivier.
Carlton: Laurence Olivier was in An Officer and a Hussy?
Sonya Lamor: No it was his brother, Wendall.
Will: Check this out, hold up. "Lamor and Gable"? You got top billing over Clark Gable?
Sonya Lamor: It was Schlomo Gable, his half-brother.
Carlton: Then I guess this Reagan isn't really Ronald.
Sonya Lamor: No, that is really Ronald. You see, we couldn't get his brother.

Quote from Philip

Sonya Lamor: And now for the film version of my book. If Meryl Streep is going to play it, she must have her nose fixed.
Philip: Absolutely. Page 3, the schnoz clause.
[As Will and Carlton tussle under the table, Will accidentally grazes Uncle Phil's foot]
Sonya Lamor: Darling, you're magnificent!
Philip: Yes, that's what my wife always says. You remember my wife? Vivian, mother of my children?
Sonya Lamor: That lovely lady in the plaid. How could I forget her? Philip, may I ask you, are you happily married?
Philip: Oh, yes. Very happy, extremely happily. You know, when we walk down the street, deer eat from our hand.
Sonya Lamor: Which reminds me, I don't work with animals.
[As Will and Carlton continue to fidget under the table, Will accidentally grabs the back of Uncle Phil's leg]
Philip: Sonya, you're a very attractive woman but I think we should keep this strictly business. So, if you don't mind, no hanky-panky.
Sonya Lamor: I agree, Philip. So, please, cool the footsie-wootsies.
Philip: Sonya, with all due respect you're the one who's playing footsie-wootsie. [Phil grabs Will's face underneath the table] What the hell is this?
Will: Please, darlings, you are too kind. No pictures.

Quote from Will

Will: Ash, peek this, babe. I got that magic joint down now.
Ashley: Please, Will, the last time you showed me a magic trick it took two months for my hair to grow back.
Will: Yeah, I know. Well, that was then and this is now. Behold, the great Willdini. All right now, here. Give me your watch. All right. Boom shaka-laka-laka Boom shaka-laka-laka boom
Ashley: What happened to "abracadabra"?
Will: No, this is black magic, Ash.
Boom!
Ashley: Ah.
Will: Hold up. I ain't finished yet. Now, here we go. Behold, a bottle, just as any other. Chaka Khan! Chaka Khan! Chaka Khan! All right. That's it. All right. Now, for my next trick, I'll need a dollar bill.
Ashley: I don't have a dollar.
Philip: I have a 20.
Will: Oh, that'll do. All right. Here we go. Notice the intricate folds. Now for the magic words. Going, going, gone! [runs out]
Philip: Will!

Quote from Will

Vivian: There you go. Some nice twelve-grain organic hot cereal.
Hilary: Wow. Looks great.
Will: How about some of that delicious soy milk to go on top?
Vivian: Oh, okay.
[As Vivian goes to the fridge to get the milk, Will, Carlton and Hilary dump their cereal into Carlton's backpack]
Carlton: Boy, that was better than the batch you made yesterday.
Vivian: Good. That's why I made twice as much today.
Will: Well, you keep dishing it up, Aunt Viv and we'll keep finding some place to put it.

Quote from Carlton

Vivian: Now I want everyone home at 7:30 sharp. Yes? We're having a get-together with the neighbors and I have invited Sonya Lamor.
Will: Word? Sonya Lamor? Hey, I've seen all her movies on the late show.
Carlton: Yeah, she did a lot of those historical dramas. My personal favorite was George Washington and the Hussy.

Quote from Ashley

Will: Whoa. Ladies and gentleman, give it up for the star of Heidi Comes to Harlem.
Ashley: Mom, if you make me go to school like this I'm going to write a book when I grow up.

Page 2 


 Previous Episode Next Episode 
  View another episode