Will: Hey, hey. Look. Y'all will never guess what I got here.
Hilary: All right, all right. Don't tell me. A rabbit.
Will: Yeah.
Hilary: I'm really good at this.

Ashley: Hello, Reverend Sims. Did you have a good golf game?
Reverend Sims: Well-
Ashley: And that is a lovely golf shirt.
Reverend Sims: Why, thank you, Ashley.
Carlton: [to Will] Would you look at that? Shameful sucking up.
Reverend Sims: Oh, Carlton, hey. I really wanna thank you for that lovely sweater you sent me. But you know that Choirmaster Hawkins makes the final decision on who sings that Easter solo.
Carlton: Oh. I knew that. Great, now I'm gonna have to buy another sweater.

Will: Ooh, ladies, here I go, let the decorating begin.
Woman #1: Oh, this nice young man has come here to help us. My, what a handsome devil.
Woman #2: And I feel kind of devilish.
Will: Whoo! Oh! Oh. Oh, man. Oh, I got a page. Oh, it's 911. Tupac just got arrested again. I need to go.
Woman #1: I didn't hear any pager.
Will: Oh, um... Well, this is the kind that vibrates.
Woman #2: I didn't see your hip vibrating. Wish I had though.

Philip: So, Will, how are things going with the decorating committee?
Will: Uh, not too bad. Except for all them old ladies down there pinching my cheeks.
Philip: Well, Will, that's the way old ladies are. They see a young man with a cute face, they love to pinch his cheeks.
Will: I ain't talking about my face.

Will: Hey. Hey, stop playing, Verna. Ain't nobody that nearsighted.

Carlton: [sings] Michael, row your boat ashore Hallelujah Michael, row your boat ashore Hallelujah Hit it. Sister, help to trim the sail, Hallelujah Sister, help to trim the sail, Hallelujah The river is deep, the river is wide Hallelujah Milk and honey on the other side Hallelu-lu-lu-lu-lu-jah Michael, row. Row that boat ashore.

Will: Hey, Aunt Viv.
Vivian: Hi, honey.
Will: You okay?
Vivian: Sure, I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be okay?
Will: Well, first of all, because you seasoning the chicken with cleanser.

Nicky: One, two, one, two. Come on, Harry, give me another one. [sings] Be all that you can be I'm gonna get you some lettuce, Harry. You stay right here.

Nicky: Harry, I'm coming.
Philip: Oh.
Nicky: Where's Harry? Uh...
Philip: He went upstairs, boom, two steps at a time. I guess he was really hungry.
Nicky: Where's his box?
Philip: Oh, he took it with him. Because he knew it didn't belong down here, he put it away.
Nicky: But if he was hungry, why didn't he just come in the kitchen?
Philip: Nicky, he's just a rabbit.

Philip: Hilary, I need you to go to a pet shop, find a rabbit that looks just like Harry.
Hilary: But I don't have the time, Daddy.
Philip: Oh, please.
Hilary: I don't feel like it.
Philip: And get yourself some shoes.
Hilary: Bye, Daddy.