TV Quotes

Ashley: Do we have a safety deposit box? I wanna hide my things before Aunt Helen and Uncle Lester get here with Bobby.
Vivian: Oh, Ashley, your cousin Bobby is not that bad.
Ashley: Mom, last time he came here he pulled off Barbie's arm and burnt down her Dream House.

Janice: Ha!
Aunt Helen: Oh, look at the size of this rock.
Vy: Oh, Gibraltar is a mole hill.
Janice: Right. Later on this afternoon, you ladies can go skating on it.
Vivian: Well, isn't this something? The Smith sisters are together again.
Janice: Yes, we are.
Vivian: The good, the bad, and the--
Aunt Helen: Don't even try it.

Carlton: You need a pedicure.
Will: Yeah, I would crack on your feet, but they don't reach all the way up here.

Hilary: All right, Bobby. Sit and stay. Carlton, it's your shift. I'm going to get my tubes tied.

Vivian: Girl, this family has sure had its share of surprises. Do you remember the last reunion when Uncle Rubin came out of the closet?
Aunt Helen: How could I forget? He came out wearing my purple-leather suit.
Janice: I guess you guys couldn't sleep, either?
Vivian: Oh, Janice, what are you doing up? Tomorrow's your big day.
Janice: Yeah, right. Looks like I caused a big mess, as usual.
Vivian: Oh, don't be so hard on yourself. You don't always cause a big mess.
Aunt Helen: Yes, she does. She's the one that told Uncle Rubin he looked good in purple.

Vivian: Oh, come on, Vy. Come on. Sit down with us and have a snack.
Vy: No, that's all right. I know you really don't want me to.
Vivian: Of course we do. Don't we?
Aunt Helen: Uh-huh. [eats] Come on, sit down, Vy.
Vivian: So here we are together again. The Smith sisters. Loud, live, and in color.
Aunt Helen: More like quiet, evil, and colored.

Vy: Damn it. Janice, you should have told me he was White.
Aunt Helen: Uh-oh. Clear the table. I think she's gonna blow.
Janice: Vy, I am sick to death of your attitude. Now if you don't want to be here, just leave. I mean, if you don't want me to marry Frank, so who cares?
Vy: Baby, don't you have enough problems being an African-American woman? You need a white husband to further complicate things? What about Frank? This isn't gonna make his life any easier. Have you thought about that? You thought about your children? Or the jobs or friends you may lose because some bigot fails to see the beauty in your marriage? Honey, I did not make the rules, but I do know how to play the game. For survival, Janice, please don't marry this man.
Janice: Vy, Frank and I are aware of everything you just said and we can handle it, sis.
Vy: You are making a terrible, terrible mistake. [exits]
Aunt Helen: Well, I guess she'll be on the first broom back to Philly.

Will: Hey, yo, Frank, what you doing, man?
Frank Schaeffer: Oh, just trying to get some color.
Will: It's going great, man. For a second there, I thought you was Wesley Snipes.

Vy: Will, I already told you, you're not going to that wedding.
Will: Well, come on. Look, Mom, I have to go. I can't disappoint Aunt J.
Vy: Aunt J? Boy, I'm the one you should be worrying about disappointing.
Will: Look, Mom. Mom, I think I'm old enough to make this decision for myself.
Vy: Oh. Now you, too. Why, I raise you, your Aunt Vivian, Aunt Helen, and your Aunt J. Now, all of a sudden, everybody knows more than me.
Will: Look, Mom. What you feel about Frank, I mean, it might be cool for you. But that's not cool for Aunt Janice.
Vy: I sacrificed a lot for Janice and it's quite obvious that she doesn't respect me anymore. Which also means she doesn't care about me anymore. Well, that's fine, because I don't care about her, either.
Will: Mom, what are you saying? What? Everybody that loves you got to do exactly what you say? I mean, what if I don't choose the college that you want or I don't choose the profession you want, or don't live in the city that you want? What? You gonna stop loving me, too? Look, Mom, I hope not, 'cause, look, I really love you. I really, really love you, Mom, but I'm going to the... to the thing. If I can just make it to that door.

Frank Schaeffer: May our love burn as bright as this candle.
Janice: May its flame burn eternally in our hearts.
Reverend White: If there is anyone who thinks that Janice and Frank should not be joined together in holy matrimony let them speak now or forever hold their peace.
[As Vy steps out of the house, everyone looks back]
Aunt Helen: Oh, Lord, have mercy.
Vy: Why are you all looking at me? Reverend, go on with the ceremony. We are paying you by the hour.