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‘Granny Gets Busy’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Granny Gets Busy

205. Granny Gets Busy

Aired October 7, 1991

Phil's mother, Hattie (Virginia Capers), comes to visit following the death of her husband. Meanwhile, Will & Carlton and Hilary & Ashley have a battle of the sexes over who can best build an exercise bike or sew a dress.

Quote from Hilary

Will: Is this the saddest sight that you've seen, man? Other than your girlfriend in biker shorts?
Ashley: We are doing just fine, thank you.
Hilary: As a matter of fact, as soon as we put it together, we'll be done.

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Quote from Philip

Philip: Mama wasn't playing cards with Mrs. Sweeting last night. She was out with Ed, the handyman. I saw them kissing good night.
Vivian: Um, sweetheart, I understand why you're upset but your parents had a long, wonderful marriage. But your mother's been alone for almost a year now. Can you imagine how lonely she must be? If she's found someone, can't you just be happy for her?
Philip: No.
Vivian: Philip, think about it. If you die tomorrow, what would you want me to do?
Philip: Jump in with me and bring the kids.
Vivian: Oh, you don't mean that.
Philip: You're right. Leave the kids.

Quote from Philip

Vivian: So, Ed, Hattie tells us that you grew up on a farm.
Ed: That's right, a horse farm.
Philip: My daddy had a horse.
Carlton: Mr. Downer, what breed did you raise?
Ed: Appaloosas. They have the most beautiful spotted coats.
Philip: My dad had a spotted coat, then he had it cleaned.
Ashley: Did you have any other animals on your farm?
Ed: Of course, we had chickens, cows, and a great old dog named Brownie.
Philip: My dad loved brownies. He once ate a whole pan-full.
Will: That explains a lot.

Quote from Will

Will: It's Willsenio Smith! Tonight, on The Willsenio Smith Show a boy making a videotape for his mama. Give it up for him. Hi, Mom, it's me. You know, Aunt Viv told me that you finally came into the '90s, and you bought a VCR. So I thought I'd make a little tape for you. Well, I've grown a little bit since you've seen me, about an inch and a half. Oh, and check this out, I got some chest hairs now. Look. See? Digger One there. Digger one... Oh, that must have been sweater lint. Well, anyway, hold up. We'll be right back after these messages. Have you ever felt, you know, not so fresh? No, just kidding, Mama. Hold on, hold on, check it out. Got an A+ on my Spanish test. Man, muchos brainos en el cabeza, si? Man. But, yo, I better vmonos 'cause you know how Uncle Phil gets if anybody hold up dinner.
Philip: [o.s.] Will!
Will: [speaks Spanish] That means, "How much is the espadrilles?" Hey, yo. I don't know how to say, "l miss you, Mom." But I do. All right. Adios. Oh, cut it, Ash.

Quote from Hilary

Vivian: Oh, Hattie, thank you for making breakfast. You know, you were out so late last night, I thought you would sleep in.
Hattie: Oh, honey, I've been going to bed with the chickens all of my life. But, you know, when you're out having a good time, the last thing you think about is the bed.
Philip: Well, I'm glad to hear that. [exits]
Hilary: I don't know what's gotten into Dad but if he's dieting again, I'm moving to a hotel.

Quote from Philip

Hilary: So what happened to your farm?
Ed: My son's there. I passed it on to him, like my dad got it from his parents.
Philip: My dad had parents. We called them Grandmom and Grandpop.
Hattie: Zeke, honey, it smells like my dessert is ready. Would you go check on it for me, please?
Ed: Mmm. Smells like sweet-potato pie.
Philip: My dad liked-
All: Sweet-potato pie!

Quote from Philip

Hattie: You miss your father a lot, don't you, Zeke?
Philip: Somebody has to.
Hattie: What do you mean by that?
Philip: I was standing right there. I saw you kiss Ed good night, and now he's sitting in my daddy's place.
Hattie: You're the one who invited him to dinner and I'm glad you did.
Philip: Don't you feel anything for Daddy, anything at all?
Hattie: You really want to know how I feel? I'll tell you. I'm angry, Zeke.
Philip: Angry? Why, Mama?
Hattie: Because he promised he'd never leave me. Crazy as it may seem, I believed him. One morning last month, I woke up early, went downstairs singing, got a big breakfast on the stove. Suddenly, I realized I was the only one there to eat it. Remembering is easy, Zeke. It's the times that I forget he's gone that I can't stand.
Philip: Oh, Mama, I am so sorry. It's just that I lost Daddy and when I saw you with Ed, I thought I was gonna lose you, too.
Hattie: You're not gonna lose me, Zeke. Of course you may have to loan me out on occasion. [they hug] You can let go now, Zeke.
Philip: As soon as Ed leaves.

Quote from Hilary

Hilary: This is perfection. You'll notice the smooth motion, graceful lines, and elegant style. And the bike looks great, too.

Quote from Will

Will: Hilary, your makeup's here.
Hilary: No, it's one of your friends from Philly, too cheap to buy an airline ticket.
Will: No, this is my new exercise bike. I'm gonna use it to develop my huge legs. You know, I figure I'll need them to support my massive chest and my 24-inch pythons.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: This equal-opportunity thing has gone just a little too far. I can't believe they're letting girls play on my intramural baseball team.
Hilary: Ooh, next thing you know, they'll be letting us vote.
Carlton: Don't even get me started on that issue. Women have their place, but men are the cornerstone of civilization. Not only are we good at men-things, but we're good at women-things, too.
Ashley: I can't believe you're serious. Hilary and I could do a so-called man-thing a lot better than either of you could do a so-called woman-thing.
Carlton: Would you care to place a little wager? I bet you couldn't... Couldn't, um...
Will: Assemble an exercise bike. Oh, my goodness. We got one right here!

Quote from Ashley

Hilary: Well, we could do that a lot better than you could...
Ashley: Sew a dress. I saw it on The Brady Bunch.
Carlton: You're on.
Will: Another planet, man. I ain't sewing no dress.
Hilary: In other words, you can't sew no dress.
Will: Well, what? Are you crazy? We'd do a dress like that. [snaps fingers]
Carlton: And that includes a full smocking and smart pleat.
Ashley: Then it's set. The loser has to help Alice in the kitchen. I mean Geoffrey.

Quote from Will

Philip: Well, is Grandma here yet? How does she look?
Will: If I was 50 years old I'd definitely take her out for a bucket of chicken.

Quote from Philip

Vivian: Your mother loves her room. She's been clapping the lights on and off for the last 20 minutes.
Philip: You know, ever since Grandpa died last year I've been trying to get Grandma to move out here with us. So I want everybody to cheer her up. I mean, I don't want her moping around in some old housecoat all day.
Hattie: [enters] Zeke.
Philip: Mama.
Hattie: It's so good to see you, baby.
Philip: Mama. You look so fluorescent.
Hattie: Don't I though? I am three pounds lighter, a whole lot tighter and I'm dressed to chill.

Quote from Will

Philip: Well, Mama, I've got a busy day planned for you tomorrow. They're having a solitaire tournament out at the Bide-Away Retirement Villas and after that there's a pudding buffet.
Hattie: Oh-wee. Sounds like fun, but I don't think I can take all that excitement.
Will: Hey, hold up. I don't know, Granny. Last week they served tapioca. Man, the cops had to break that joint up.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: We're gonna win this bet, Will. I love the neckline, and the fabric's great. And the color really brings out my eyes.
Will: How are you doing, Granny? What do you think?
Hattie: Six years of Oprah, and this is still a shock.
Carlton: It's a bet, Grandma.
Hattie: Don't tell me what happens if you lose. In fact, I don't want to know what happens if you win. Oh, hell, just let's never mention it again.
Philip: Son? And I use that term loosely. What's going on?
Carlton: Dad, it's not what it looks like. Will and I are making a dress.
Philip: That's exactly what it looks like.
Will: Look, Carlton, let's just go upstairs and pick out some accessories, man. Mmm. Work it, honey.

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