‘Fresh Prince After Dark’
Season 4, Episode 9 - Aired November 8, 1993
Uncle Phil is outraged when Hilary is asked to pose for Playboy magazine. Meanwhile, Will makes a date with Jackie (Tyra Banks).
Quote from Hilary
Philip: Hilary, as long as you live in my house, you will abide by my rules. And that goes for the rest of you.
Carlton: That's telling us, Dad.
Hilary: Wait. I am 24 years old, and I can make my own decisions. Besides Mom said it was okay.
Philip: Oh, yeah? Vivian! So you said your daughter could pose in Playboy, huh?
Vivian: No. I said I didn't like the idea. But I also said she's a grown woman, and it's her choice.
Philip: No daughter of mine is posing in that kind of magazine, period.
Hilary: You do this to me all the time, Daddy. I have a mind of my own, and opinions and you never let me express them and... What were we talking about?
Will: Hil, I think you were in the process of storming out of here.
Hilary: Thanks, Will. [scoffs; storms out]
Quote from Will
Jackie: So, what do you think?
Will: Look like you got hat-jacked by Woody Woodpecker.
Jackie: These are the new booster hats. Help me set up a display.
Will: Sure thing, boss lady. Oh, Jackie, check it out. Hypothetical situation: Let's just say, like, a famous men's magazine asked you to pose with nothing but that stupid hat on. Would you do it?
Jackie: No way, I don't want just anybody looking at this body.
Will: Oh, why? Has it changed since we used to play doctor?
Jackie: Stop it.
Will: See, you have beautiful teeth. I didn't even know you had those. That was fun. Imagine how much more fun it would be if we was both naked.
Quote from Will
Jackie: Take it easy, homey. I mean, you asked like a gentleman. So if you can just keep acting like a gentleman maybe we can get somewhere.
Will: Somewhere that we could talk lying down?
Jackie: Will!
Will: All right, Jackie, I'm sorry. A temporary cool breakdown. I'm back now. Look, so when is good for you?
Jackie: I don't know. I was thinking about this afternoon leading into the evening.
Will: Mmm. You know what the evening leads... I'm sorry, I need to have that treated. I'm sorry.
Jackie: I'll call you later. [exit]
Will: Come without the stupid hat, okay? [a woman walks by] Hey, girl, I was... Would you stop it! Stop, stop, stop.
Quote from Will
Geoffrey: So when do we leave for the Mansion?
Will: Oh, they don't need you, G. They're fully staffed.
Quote from Will
Carlton: Look, I'm gonna talk to Mr. Hefner and put a stop to this. My voice will be heard. You must take me with you.
Will: Sure.
Hilary: How can you let him come with us?
Will: Trust me, Hil, he ain't gonna say nothing.
Hilary: Well, how can you be so sure?
Will: Boy gets hot and bothered talking to average-looking girls. Five minutes at the Mansion, he's gonna go into meltdown.
Quote from Will
Will: I have never seen so many people in one place I wanted to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to. Breathing okay? [the woman scoffs]
Quote from Will
Will: Hey, Hugh.
Carlton: Will, why are you shouting at me? I'm right next to you.
Will: Not you. Hugh.
Carlton: You who?
Will: Stop yodeling. Hugh Hefner.
Quote from Philip
Philip: Vivian! Vivian! Vivian!
Vivian: Oh, Philip, did you call me?
Philip: Do you know where your children are?
Vivian: Sure, they're at the Playboy Mansion.
Philip: How come you knew that and I didn't?
Vivian: Because they talk to me.
Philip: Why don't they talk to me?
Vivian: Because you don't listen. Every time-
Philip: [groans] [walks off]
Quote from Will
Will: So, baby, what you doing after the party?
Woman: Actually, I'll be in surgery.
Will: Looks like everything on that body is in working order.
Woman: I'll be performing surgery. I'm a doctor.
Will: Well, doc, you can check me out anytime, trust me.
Woman: I'm a cardiologist. You need a pediatrician.
Quote from Will
Will: Miss March, right? I didn't recognize you with your clothes on. Oh, don't tell me, don't tell me, don't tell me. Turn-ons: Fast cars, shrimp bouillabaisse and Indian quilts, right?
Woman: Very impressive. Now, do you remember my turnoffs?
Will: Do I? Hairy backs, smokers and abrasive young men who don't know when to shut up.
Woman: Bingo.