Will: Hey, you know what? You can sell the house. It's the couch that got the memories. And the Jacuzzi. Carlton's little typewriting table.
Carlton: Hey.

Will: If we end up moving into another guesthouse I'm getting the bedroom this time.
Carlton: Not so fast, buster. Who knows if the new place is even gonna have a guesthouse?
Will: Don't worry, we'll bring a shoebox you can sleep in.

Will: Come to think of it, I don't know how I've been around you this long.
Carlton: What's wrong with being around me?
Will: Well, how about I'll take "always embarrassing me" for 500, Alex.

Philip: So after careful consideration, we've decided not to sell.
Hilary: Oh, Daddy.
Will: Oh, man!
Vivian: When it came down to it, we just couldn't part with this place.
Philip: I mean, in the final analysis, there are more important things than money.
Carlton: Would everyone stop saying that? I'm getting a migraine.
Will: We got some baby Tylenol in the kitchen.

Vivian: Philip, what's going on?
Philip: Ron said that his buyer is willing to go $1 million dollars above market value. [all cheer]
Carlton: Yes, there is a God!
Ashley: Look at you all. Will say something.
Will: Ching, ching!

Will: Hey, hey, man. Man, have I told you how thin you're looking lately? You know, especially around your chins. I mean... Damn.

Vivian: That must be him. Now, we're doing the right thing, aren't we? We should sell.
Carlton: Oh, my God, she's buckling, Dad. Throw some cold water on her.
Philip: Carlton.

Philip: Well, Ron said his client had a rich uncle, but Donald Trump.
Donald Trump: I like keeping a low profile.
Hilary: Hi. Hilary Banks.
Donald Trump: Hi, Hilary.
Hilary: You know, you look much richer in person.

Philip: Come on, let's sit down, sign some papers.
Ron: Mr. Banks, there's been a little mistake. Mr. Trump's nephew grew up at 508 Saint Cloud Road.
Hilary: And all this time I thought our address was 805 Saint Cloud Road.
Vivian: It is, Hilary.
Ron: It's very embarrassing. Apparently, I inverted the numbers. I don't know what to say, except I'm sorry.
Philip: That makes two of us.
Donald Trump: Well, that's business. Let's go down the street. I brought cash, it's quicker.
Marla Maples Trump: Nice meeting you all. It's just as well, it's too much of a fixer-upper.

Carlton: What happened?
Will: Donald Trump walked in, and you passed out.
Carlton: Donald! Where is he?
Will: He'll be the guy carrying the millions of dollars in cash. Hey, if you hurry up, man... [Carlton dashes out of the room]