Will: Hey, come on, Uncle Phil. Why don't you be reasonable. When's the last time a teacher from Bel-Air Academy came to the house?
Philip: Look, the girl went and changed schools behind my back. Now, in this house, that constitutes a capital crime.
Will: But she had a good reason, Uncle Phil.
Philip: Look, my wife's nephew. I want Ashley in Bel-Air Academy where there's a controlled environment. I know who's there. But, more importantly, I know who's not.
Will: Listen, I'm telling you, man. Listen, I went to both public and private schools and I'm saying in public school, it's more different kinds of people, you know. In Bel-Air Academy, everybody cut from the same mold. Hey, if you ask me, you acting like a...
[After Uncle Phil inches towards Will, he goes and hides behind the table]
Will: Snob. I'm gonna just go.

Vivian: Philip, look here. Morris High School is fourth in the country among magnet schools.
Philip: Magnet schools? Maybe that's why they need metal detectors, huh? Ha-ha-ha.

Vivian: This is important. Don't make jokes.
Philip: Vivian, we've made our decision.
Vivian: We? No, you've made a decision. I'm a college professor. You didn't even ask my opinion.
Philip: Didn't I? I'm sure I did. I'm sorry, honey. What do you think?
Vivian: I think we should at least consider it. You know, sometimes I think we work so hard to give our kids what we didn't have, sometimes we forget to give them what we did have.

Philip: Where are you going?
Ashley: School.
Philip: Since when do you wear a uniform to public school?
Ashley: What are you talking about?
Philip: Well, your mother and I had a long talk last night. I called Miss Sharpe and made an appointment to check it out. Now, if- If I'm satisfied with what I see, you can give it a shot for a semester.
Ashley: Oh, Daddy, thank you. [hugs Uncle Phil]
Philip: We're gonna be late. Go change.
Ashley: Okay.
Will: Oh, Uncle Phil, thank you. [hugs Uncle Phil]