Philip: Okay, somebody bury this.
Carlton: Dad, are you crazy?
Philip: Look, if I read this story, it'll be the biggest mistake I've ever made.
Will: I don't know about that, Uncle Phil. Remember them plaid shorts you wore last summer?
Philip: [chuckles] Look, let me tell you boys something about women. Now, if I read it and say I like it she'll think I'm just trying to make her happy. If I say I don't like it, she'll stop trying to make me happy.