Hilary: I came to keep you company. Where's the remote?
Philip: Ow. Oh, darling, there's nothing on TV to stimulate the intelligent mind.
Will: Uncle Phil, you must be tripping, man. This is the episode of Star Trek where Captain Kirk sleeps with that green girl.
Hilary: Will, that is such worthless drivel. Oh look, the home-shopper's channel.
Man: [on TV] So with the Sandwich King all you need is two pieces of white bread and a can of delicious chili.
And in less than a minute you have a mouthwatering chili-pocket. You gourmets may want to squirt a little cheese on top.
Will: Yuck. Man, I haven't heard of nothing that disgusting since Clarence Thomas found that hair on his cola.