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Quote from Will in Will's Up a Dirt Road

Jay Leno: Welcome back. My next guest is a young comedian making his first appearance on The Tonight Show. Please give a warm welcome to a very funny young man, Mr. John Ridley. [crowd cheering]
Will: Hey, how you doing? Hey. Well, you know, the other day, I just had this bottle of aspirin, you know. But I couldn't take it because I'm Black. What I mean is, you know, the bottle had cotton in it, you know. Get it? Cotton. I'm Black. Well, well, actually, you know, what I mean is... Um...
Jay Leno: Hey, wait a minute, wait. This isn't John. What's going on? Security, have this guy removed.
Will: Wait. Wait a minute. Hey, Jay, listen. You gotta listen to me. I'm the guy that you're suing, Will Smith.
Jay Leno: You're the guy that's been putting the stuff in the paper?
Will: Yeah, that's me.
Jay Leno: You probably know, there's been a lot written about me. A lot of it untrue. And this seems to be the gentleman responsible. Come over here. Why don't we settle it right now. Why don't you sit down here. You got two minutes to explain yourself.
Will: Hey.
Jay Leno: All right, tell us what's going on.
Will: Jay, listen. I was just trying to impress my girlfriend, Lisa. I like her a lot, you know. So I just wanted to prove to her that I wasn't, you know, goofy.
Jay Leno: You, goofy? Gee, I can't imagine how she got that idea. What are you talking about?

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