Will: Freeze, munchkins!
Santa Claus: They're not munchkins, son, they're elves.
Will: Oh, yeah? Who are you, Keebler?
Santa Claus: [laughs] Oh, boy, you're not even close.
Will: All right, look here, dude. Check it out. Um I'm about to give a little ring-a-ding-ding to Bel-Air Security. So if you and any of your little friends took anything, you better put it back.
Santa Claus: Now, you hold on there, young man. Nobody talks to Santa Claus like that.
Will: Oh, I'm sorry. Santa Claus. Right on, yeah. Everybody knows Santa Claus is a Clippers fan.
Santa Claus: I am not. I just can't move these things. Now, you listen to me, sonny. I don't usually make off-season visits but you were about to do something terrible to your cousin Nicky. You don't have any idea what I'm talking about, do you?
Will: No.
Santa Claus: No, of course you don't. Maybe this year I'll put a brain in your stocking.
Will: Why do these make-believe guys keep pushing me?