Philip: What's on your mind, Will?
Will: Uh... Jewel kissed me.
Philip: It's customary to kiss the bride.
Will: No, no, no. Uncle Phil, this was like one of them Fatal Attraction elevator-scene kisses. You know what I'm saying? You know?
Philip: Oh, come on, you're exaggerating, Will.
Will: Listen, Uncle Phil, I'm telling you. I went up to the room to see if she needed anything. She kissed me on my lips. She jumped on me and she was stuck on me. And I was trying to shake her off, but I couldn't. She was like a little naked Velcro midget.