Philip: I just want you to go to college, that's all.
Will: Uncle Phil, and I will if this doesn't work. But come on, you got to let me take my shots in life.
Philip: You really want this badly, huh, son?
Will: Yes, I do.
Philip: And you actually think you can make a success of it?
Will: Yes, sir, I do.
Philip: Well, son, I guess there's only one thing for me to do. [grabs Will by the ear] I'm going to nail your behind to the floor. And if I catch you anywhere near a comedy club, I'm going to break every funny bone in your body. Do I make myself perfectly clear?
Will: Perfectly.