Ashley: Oh, where's Mom?
Hilary: Is she outside?
Philip: No.
Will: What, she's in the car? I'm gonna go get her bags.
Philip: She's not out there.
Geoffrey: Good Lord, what did you do to her?
Carlton: Don't worry, Big Guy, I got you covered. He was with me the whole time.

[Hilary's fantasy:]
Man: I just wanted to stop by and tell you that even though your parents are divorced, you're still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen.
Hilary: Thank you very much. [giggles] Now, be gone.

Philip: Are you sure about this place, Will?
Will: Sure? Come on, it's great food and grass skirts and great live entertainment.
Man: [sings] Tall and tan and young and lovely A girl from Ipanema goes walking
Carlton: He's butchering it. [grabs the microphone and sings] And when she passes Each one she passes goes, "Ah" When she walks, she's like a samba She swings so cool and sways so gentle That when she passes Each one she passes goes, "Ooh" [talks] Now, that's how it's supposed to be done.

Philip: I'm out of here.
Will: Wait, wait. Wait a minute, Uncle Phil. Now, I didn't wanna have to make the hard sell, but... Excuse me. They got three pages worth of pork dishes up in here.
Philip: Well, since we're already here. [chuckles]

Will: You know, I don't know if it's possible or even safe to have any more fun than we're having right now, but what the heck, let's give it a shot. Uncle Phil, how about some karaoke?
Philip: No.
Will: [meekly] Okay, fine.

Philip: Well, I guess I could take a cab.
Vivian: That's right, run right back to campaign central.
Philip: Give it a rest, Vivian.
Vivian: What's the matter, Philip, you can't take the truth?
Philip: The truth is you overreacted.
Vivian: I did not overreact. You lied.

Philip: Vivian, I told you I was sorry. I don't know how many ways to say it. I was wrong.
Vivian: That's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about the 28 years of dreaming and waiting for when we'd be in a position to have some time to ourselves. Now I find out it's all a lie.
Philip: Vivian, I didn't lie.

Carlton: [sings] Reunited And it feels so good
Aunt Helen: Go on, kiss her, Phil, baby
Carlton: Reunited and it's understood

Will: [sings] Philip, you must make a pact Ooh You gonna bring my Aunt Viv back Ooh Where there is love, you'll be there Just look over your shoulders, Philip