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‘Blood Is Thicker Than Mud’ Quotes Page 1 of 2

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air: Blood Is Thicker Than Mud

408. Blood Is Thicker Than Mud

Aired November 1, 1993

Will and Carlton both try out for a black fraternity. Meanwhile, Uncle Phil gets a motorcycle, and the family gets hooked on a soap opera.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: How dare you not take Will. He's full of potential.
Top Dog: That's why we want him. It's you we don't want.
Carlton: Me? [music stops] But I did everything. I cooked, I cleaned, I hand-washed your toilets.
Top Dog: Everything your butler does for you. I'm not accepting no prep school, Bel-Air bred sellout into my fraternity.
Will: Homey, you can stop all that-
Carlton: No, wait, Will. I got this one. You think I'm a sellout, why? Because I live in a big house or I dress a certain way? Or maybe it's because I like Barry Manilow.
Will: He mean Barry White, y'all.
Carlton: Being black isn't what I'm trying to be, it's what I am. I'm running the same race and jumping the same hurdles you are, so why are you tripping me up? You said we need to stick together but you don't even know what that means. If you ask me, you're the real sellout.
Will: Yeah, that's right, boy. And in the words of my illustrious cousin: "We will make like a tree and leave."

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Quote from Philip

Philip: Vivian. Look, I've come to my senses. The bike is gone.
Vivian: It is?
Philip: Yes, sweetheart. Motorcycles and black leather will never make me feel as young as the love of a good woman. With you by my side, I will never grow old. I love you.
Geoffrey: Oh, sir, the body shop called. They said your motorcycle is completely totaled.
Philip: Thank you, Geoffrey.
Geoffrey: Oh, and the insurance company said you're covered for the damages to the ice-cream truck but have to pay for that box of Eskimo Pies you ate.
Philip: I said, thank you, Geoffrey.
Geoffrey: My pleasure, sir. Will there be anything else? My favorite soap is about to start.
Philip: What would that be, One Life To Ruin?
Geoffrey: [laughs] Sir.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: Hey, Top Dog, do you think the DJ has any Rod Stewart or Neil Diamond?
Top Dog: Gee, Carlton, I don't know. The last time we played them, the party just kind of got out of hand.
Carlton: I know what you mean. You should see what happens at their concerts.

Quote from Carlton

Top Dog: Attention! Busters. I hope you like your new uniforms. You will be wearing them for a week.
Carlton: Excuse me, Mr.
Top Dog: Top Dog, sir. Pledge Banks, you only speak when you are spoken to.
Carlton: Well, are you speaking to me now, or are you?
Will: Ssh.
Carlton: Oh, I'm sorry, Will, but I think everyone here will agree that wearing the same thing for a week is not good hygiene. Right, fellas?
Top Dog: So Pledge Banks likes to wash clothes.
Carlton: Actually, my butler handles the laundry.
Top Dog: Your butler?
Carlton: Yes, Geoffrey. He's a whiz with my fine washables.

Quote from Carlton

Top Dog: Pledge Banks, where are you from?
Carlton: Bel-Air.
Will: South central Bel-Air.
Carlton: I live right across the street from the Aaron Spelling mansion. You know, the producer of Beverly Hills, 90210?
Top Dog: I don't watch it.
Carlton: Oh, you don't know what you're missing. Dylan's on the verge of getting back with Brenda.
Will: You are on the verge of making a fool out of yourself. They really getting back together, though?

Quote from Philip

Philip: You know, this... This really irritates me. I have worked very hard to give my family a good life and suddenly somebody tells me there's a penalty for success. I'm sorry you had to go through this, son. When are we gonna stop doing this to each other?

Quote from Philip

Vivian: Are you crazy?
Philip: I told you I was gonna buy a bike someday, Vivian.
Vivian: Well, you also told me you were gonna lose 50 pounds. A motorbike is so dangerous.
Philip: Well, just look at it this way. If I take a fall, I have a 50-pound cushion.

Quote from Carlton

Top Dog: Hello, you poor excuses for pledges.
All: Greetings, big Brother Top Dog of Phi Beta Gamma.
Top Dog: Today, we're splitting up into groups. I'm taking Philly boy and money bags to block.
Carlton: Hey, we're gonna play Hollywood Squares.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: "Make like a tree and leave"? I never say that. It's "make like a banana and split."
Will: I'll keep that in mind, all right?

Quote from Will

Will: Girl, I hope these Greek clowns clean up after themselves. A bunch of messy, inconsiderate children.
Jackie: So which house are you joining?
Will: Girl, you know I ain't into that frat stuff. It's for a bunch of pocket-protector- wearing, no-social-life-having losers.
Carlton: Let the pledging begin.
Will: The defense rests, Your Honor.

Quote from Carlton

Carlton: Well, my gold card has a hologram of Lee Iacocca on it.
Will: Excuse us, guys, it's time for a Negro moment.
Will: Carlton, wouldn't you rather join a fraternity where the guys look more like you?
Carlton: I was. Didn't you notice we all had alligator shirts on?

Quote from Hilary

Vivian: What a sleaze. I hope Mary dumps Lazlo's sorry butt.
Hilary: Me too. You think she would've learned after he lied about neutering the cat.
Vivian: She really hasn't been the same since she had that sex change.
Hilary: Yeah, I guess you're right about that.
Ashley: Listen to yourselves. You're caught up in the lives of make-believe characters. I'll tell you what, Mom, I'll watch the baby, go to a museum and take Hilary with you.
Vivian: Ashley, the only reason we get involved in this kind of stuff is that real life sometimes is kind of boring. [motorcycle revs]
Ashley: What's that?
Hilary: Harley-Davidson '58 panhead. I used to date a biker.

Quote from Vivian

Vivian: Philip, what's going on?
Philip: What's it look like, Vivian?
Vivian: Looks like a bunch of middle-aged men with too much time on their hands.
Dan: Hey, we're bikers.
Vivian: Dan, you're an accountant. Got a moment, Fonzie?

Quote from Vivian

Vivian: Honey, you've also got an infant son who needs you... in one piece.
Philip: I don't see Dan's wife giving him any heat over this.
Vivian: From what Helen tells me she ain't giving him any heat anywhere else either.
Philip: Oh, you women discuss that?
Vivian: You'd be surprised what we talk about. Honey, be reasonable. Get off the midlife-crisis highway and come home.
Philip: Oh, yeah, I can't wait to see your first hot flash.

Quote from Will

Orlando: Pledges on behalf of the brothers of Phi Beta Gamma, I welcome you.
Carlton: The journey begins.
Will: Yeah, yeah, yeah, just relax, Magellan.

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